What Meaning Am I Attributing to This Event?
No One or No Event Has the Power to Affect You
When you react to something, stop looking outside for the reason.
Whatever you react to is not related to what the other person did or the event that happened to you; it is completely related to you.
No one or no event has the power to affect you and create a reaction accordingly.
The one who attributes the meaning that you will react to that event or person is no one else but you.
If it were not true, wouldn’t everyone have the same reaction to an event?
However, this is not the case most of the time.
There are as many different ways of reacting as there are people.
For example, let’s take public speaking.
While this situation is no different than a nightmare for many people, it is a situation that causes mild anxiety for many others. For some, it is as simple as taking a breath.
The situation is the same for all of them. In other words, all of the people in these three groups experience public speaking.
However, the people in the first group attribute this situation to “I will be embarrassed” and therefore feel extreme anxiety.
The people in the second group attribute it to “it is difficult, but I can do it” and therefore feel mild anxiety.
The people in the third group attribute it to “it is very easy; I can do it” and almost never feel anxiety.
As can be seen, it is not the event or situation that causes anxiety, but what that event or situation means to the person.
Therefore, when you are angry at someone, sad about something, when someone upsets you, or whenever something thrills you — in short, when you feel any emotion (reaction), stop dealing with the person, event, or situation that caused it. This will not take you anywhere.
In such moments, ask yourself,
“What meaning could I be attributing to this event?”
and
“How accurate, reliable, and unchangeable, is this meaning I am attributing to, and would everyone agree with me?”
You will see that most of the time (actually always) the meaning you attribute is not related to that event, person, or situation, but to you, and if so, this meaning you attribute can always be changed and made more functional to make your life easier.
- Clinical Psychologist Serap Sözen
If you’re really interested in this topic, I recommend the books by Byron Katie. Who is Byron Katie? Here’s some brief information.
*Carl Jung (born July 26, 1875, Kesswil, Switzerland — died June 6, 1961, Küsnacht) was a Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist who founded analytic psychology, in some aspects a response to Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis.
With Love🙏
