Rocking Chair or Launch Pad?
Find your purpose or risk a disappointing retirement
Finally, retirement—Yay. No more setting alarm clocks, no more business suits, no more executives asking how I plan to once again meet a grossly unreasonable deadline when they know the only way to meet it is to work the whole weekend.
My own retirement two years ago definitely wasn’t “planned.”
Going back a step, I held the title of Vice President, Procurement of Networking and Telecom Services for a major technology company and managed a team of people in the U.S., Mexico, and India. My employer was a large technology company in Dallas, Texas, and all was good until my employer was acquired by another large corporation in 2010 and as is frequently the case with such acquisitions/mergers, it became painfully obvious to me that the acquiring corporation had plenty of executives of its own and that I was not needed in the new organization.
I can’t say that I was devastated, even though I was not ready to retire at age 66, because I knew that I was not ready for a rocking chair but now I was free to pursue my own interests, even on weekdays. Yay again. I am fortunate to enjoy excellent health, insatiable curiosity, and a strong desire to help others.
The title “Solopreneur” fits me. I need to supplement my retirement earnings with paid work and am happy to earn my keep which I have been doing since I was 13 years old ( when I got my first Social Security card in order to work in my small hometown’s public library as paid staff).
When I was 50 years old, my husband divorced me to marry a woman at his workplace (a subordinate of his). I was extremely hurt and bitter for some years but am pretty much past that now. And I have three wonderful, grown sons who love me, so “husband? I don’t need no stinking husband!” (Apologies to Mel Brooks and Blazing Saddles, remember?)
So now that I’m 68, this is how my “launch pad” is working.
Unpaid Volunteerism. I am extremely interested in learning about successful aging, how to help people who have received a dementia diagnosis (my mother died of Alzheimer’s Disease), and teaching people about ALL of their end-of-life options for themselves or a loved one. I serve on the Board of Director of Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Texas and seek/accept speaking engagements in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to educate people about all sorts of death issues such as: home funerals (with little or no involvement of a funeral home, the way pioneer Americans cared for their dead); and “green/eco” burials (no embalming, no metal caskets, no grave liner/vault).
For myself, I will be buried in the green section of a local cemetery, wrapped in a biodegradable shroud without a casket (wanting to become compost as quickly as possible) because the earth has given to me all of my life and I want to give back to the earth—it’s the circle of life.
Paid Work. The meaningful paid work I do is (1) I am a certified hypnotherapist, specializing in virtual obesity surgery (no cutting) and hypnosis for dementia clients; and (2) I record older adults’ life stories on video which satisfies my creative side—printed books are optional.
Video life stories are practical and important for these reasons: (1) in the event that a “paid” caregiver is ever involved in caring for a person in a facility, studies have shown that quality of life is enhanced if the caregiver can see the person as a whole human being and not just as a sick individual and, for this, a video life story is invaluable; (2) descendants will be able to see and hear how a great-grandparent moved and spoke, which later becomes a priceless heirloom (what would you give for a video of your own parents/grandparents/great grandparents who are no longer around?); and (3) the video becomes an opportunity for an older person to pass on his or her “values” which older adults say is a more important legacy to leave behind than “valuables.”
I still stumble, make mistakes, and screw up, but doesn’t everybody? I have learned that the second Golden Rule is to “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.” That means that you should respect yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion that you offer to others. Also, I have recovered from trying to be perfect, and learned that “done is better than perfect.”
The last third of your life should be a time of contentment and laughter. We all have our dark days but it helps to remember that nobody gets out of this life without suffering, so we shouldn’t be surprised when it’s our turn to suffer some. Almost always, we cause our own suffering through errant thinking, but it’s hard to stop “errorism” in ourselves, so sometimes we need help to see a different perspective which will get us back on the right track to contentedness. It’s enough to know that the suffering will pass.
We need people who love us and who want to listen to us and who offer us their “goodwill.” Goodwill is a wonderful gift to give and to receive. So take time to develop and keep existing deep friendships and to repair any troublesome relationships.
Rocking chair or launch pad? Make your choice. I’m making my choices knowing that I have the freedom to change course any time I want to. Be assured that “Life Is Good” in the third chapter of life and “Life Is Brilliant” if you have a life purpose and if you choose to plant yourself on the launch pad where you’re catapulted into action instead of planting yourself in the rocking chair where you’ll stagnate and atrophy. You’re way too awesome for that!
