Gaming and Positivity: The Massive Disconnect

Jourdan Bul-lalayao
New Game+ Magazine
Published in
5 min readAug 13, 2015
Credit: www.deviantart.com

Bio: I’m a Product Hunter, software engineer and also do growth work with Nir Eyal at www.NirAndFar.com. Besides my professional work, I have hobbies in video games, anime, reading, writing, and watching WWE.

This post was originally posted on my blog. Medium peeps, if you enjoyed this article, I would appreciate a follow here on Medium and a follow on my blog! I’ll love you eternally!

Gaming and positivity. Ever heard of that concept before? No? Well, that’s because I just created it. Actually, you probably have, and if so, I’m here to be another voice on that topic.

As a gamer myself, there’s one thing in the internet gaming space that really grinds my gears. And it’s as simple as this:

So many gamers are so damn negative.

Now, I’m not generalizing the gaming audience. After all, that’s why I said “so many gamers”, not “gamers”. Copyright skills for the win, yo.

Or maybe that’s just basic knowledge of the English language, lol. In any case, many gamers are great and fun to hang around with. I know because I have a lot of friends who love video games as much as anyone else. I even talk with gamers like yourself on Twitter, whom I’ve never even met before. Being in the gaming space is a great thing, and I’ll never grow out of video games. They’re just too fun and enjoyable, and video games provide a great avenue to disconnect from work and other obligations that pull you away.

Note: An inside look on my personal + gaming life: I’m in the process of building a presence on Twitch, so that I can not only talk with you on Twitter, but also on Twitch.

Note #2: Did you catch those right hooks? If not, don’t worry, you’ll know what they are soon enough. Thanks, Gary V.

However, there are also those gamers who feel entitled and constantly throw jabs at other gamers over heated arguments on forums and other online mediums like reddit. What do they get from that besides anger and a stroke of their ego?

Now let me admit, as a gamer I’m guilty of being negative too. We all are. I’m not perfect. But here’s the thing, I don’t lash it out at anyone else. If anything, I’ll feel the rage internally when I lose in an hour-long boss fight (damn you, Safer Sephiroth!), or I’ll think some of my users at the start-up I work for are idiots. But I obviously don’t tell them that. That’s hurtful, that’s unnecessary, and I really don’t feel that way. It’s just my defense mechanism for dealing with what I thought was a software bug, but actually wasn’t.

But there’s a line in the sand on Gamer’s Beach. If you cross it, you become one of those gamers who intentionally puts other gamers down for your entertainment, for your ego. Just because it was 2 AM and you had nothing else to do. It becomes too much for others, and even yourself.

I’m not saying that you specifically do this. You, the gamer, might not be guilty, and that’s great. I commend you for that. But for those gamers who do this, I want you to think. How do you feel when you’re criticized when it was completely uncalled for? It doesn’t feel good. It hurts.

Now imagine doing that to others. They’re humans just like you and me, and they feel the same way. They don’t feel good. They get hurt. On gaming forums, or other gaming websites, this becomes a back-and-forth cycle of anger and negativity until someone declares that they have just /thread or someone stops responding. Either you’re the one who lost the battle and is now feeling bad about himself, or you’re the one that won and feels like she’s on top of the world.

But did that ultimately amount to anything at all?

You’re still a gamer who didn’t make it on YouTube or Twitch, like me and so many others.

I don’t say that to put you down. I mean, I’m here advocating for positive gaming experiences lol. But it’s reality for 99% of us gamers, and we can change that together. Seriously, let’s change who we are as gamers. Use gaming forums to discuss games and other random stuff. Use gaming forums to have healthy debates but don’t use them to shoot someone’s feelings down when he expresses how excited he felt about a game that you thought was terrible. If you’re on the other side of that stick, don’t even argue with it. There’s no point.

Let’s stop putting other gamers down. We’re wasting our energy. We’re wasting our efforts. We’re wasting our time. All for nothing, really. Use that time towards more constructive gaming. Do you want to build your gaming personality? Trade that time in to instead engage with other gamers on Twitter and Twitch. Start a gaming blog. Write some video game reviews. Get your name out there. You can even trade that time for 20 minutes to walk or jog around the block, because why not? Healthiness does wonders for you physically and mentally, after all.

Or, if you’re not into any those, just use that time to simply play and enjoy video games.

Great reddit thread I found on the Final Fantasy XIV Facebook group haha!

There are many things that we can do to enjoy gaming even more and overall be more positive in the gaming space. Imposing your negativity on other gamers’ feelings isn’t one of them.

On a final note, here’s a picture that sums up about 10 years of my life as a gamer:

Credit: Some guy on the Final Fantasy XIV Facebook group.

Those, were the days!!

If you enjoyed this article or found some value in it, please feel free to recommend it to your followers :). Thanks!

P. S: I’m planning a podcast for you gamers, which I intend to launch in late 2016 or 2017. Please send me an e-mail jpbullalayao@gmail.com to be one of my first followers and to subscribe to updates on the podcast! On this podcast, I intend to talk about my own stories, and interview gaming personalities who include YouTube gamers, Twitch gamers, executives from top gaming companies, and the like. You won’t want to miss out if you’re a gamer :).

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Jourdan Bul-lalayao
New Game+ Magazine

Engineering @ Wag, gamer, otaku, WWE addict, and so many other things :)