26 Things I’ve Learned While Married to a Swede

It’s never not the right time for coffee

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

When I moved to London for grad school, I never imagined I would end up marrying someone from Sweden. In fact, I secretly thought I would meet a nice British guy and end up in the countryside of England with cute little British children that had cute little British accents, eating Sunday roast and drinking tea.

Instead, I married a Swede who eats meatballs and mash weekly and speaks a language I have yet to learn. We now have a 1-year-old who is also speaking the language I have yet to learn.

Here are just some things I’ve learned or been amused by over the years:

1. Singing songs at parties is very important.
2. Anything Swedish is amazing. Did someone say IKEA?
3. Julmust is a Christmas drink.
4. My great-grandmother’s name, Elva, means the number 11 in Swedish spelt exactly the same way.
5. The population of Sweden, 10 million people, is as big as a city I once lived in and most people live in the south because it’s too cold in the north.
6. It makes a difference whether you’re from the west or east coast.
7. There are restaurants that are only open for summer days on vacant islands, and people happily take a boat to them during the warmer months.
8. If the sun is out, you bet your ass we are outside soaking it in. Even while taking a stroll down the street with our toddler, we have to walk on the side with the most sun.
9. Everyone speaks near-perfect English, some with American accents.
10. Coffee is life.
11. Fika is a household custom whenever we have company. It essentially means we have coffee and eat something sweet with our guests.
12. Cinnamon buns do not have frosting on them.
13. Abba is always brought into a conversation about music.
14. It takes about a year before someone invites you over for dinner. This might be a slight exaggeration, but Swedes like to take their time in getting to know people.
15. Punctuality is of the greatest importance.
16. Lagom — it’s a way of life. Never too much and never too little, just enough.
17. Football, not soccer, is the sport of choice and Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the best player on the planet. Well, hockey might get a little love too.
18. I’ve never enjoyed an argument as much as I enjoy it with my husband. True to form, he is diplomatic in most things. He will always let me know how he can see my side of it, which obviously makes me feel like I’m going to win every time — I don’t.
19. We danced between friends and dating for a month before making it official and when he told me it was part of the culture to have sambo — someone you live with but never marry — I worried we weren’t the right fit.
20. Living in a Nordic country does not mean always you are also Scandinavian.
21. Sweden is not Switzerland. So many people get these two confused. I have no idea why. Maybe because they both start with an S?
22. Equality is important. Men and women both get parental leave when a baby is born.
23. Donald Duck is a big part of Christmas. Everyone sits around on December 24th to watch Donald Duck and play bingo.
24. H & M is from Sweden.
25. Spotify came from Sweden.
26. People judge you based on whether you drive a Volvo or Saab, both Swedish made.

By the way, I’m American with a Mexican background. It’s been a fun mix in the house.