3rd, 4th, 5th Times A Charm
My Journey In The Fight Against Social Media
It was as if a weighted magnet had control over my hand for the last four hours and forced me to continue scrolling.
After this particularly gruesome spell, I decided I had enough. I was no longer going to be controlled by this unseen force. I decided to delete any social media apps on my phone and log out of the browser version.
Three months is the amount of time I decided that would help me kick my addiction.
After the three months were up I redownloaded my apps.
I browsed through Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and even YouTube back- to back. I deprived myself for an entire three months and decided it was okay to indulge. After all, those three months cured me of my addictions, and I would never return to my old habits.
Sadly, I indulged again the next day, and the next day, and the day after that.
It became months of uncontrollable scrolling. Once I realized I had given in to my addiction for however long it took for me to notice, I decided to try this detox thing again. It ended up taking me several chances to get it right.
It was years before I realized why I had such a hard time. Here are a few things I noticed.
I had little outside influence
I had little outside influence to keep me accountable. There’s nothing like letting your guard down and hearing a friend say, “hey no social media, remember”, or “what happened to that social media break you were taking?”, or straight up “god, you’re weak and have no discipline. You’re not supposed to be on there.”
I spent most days fighting my urges by scrolling from home screen to home screen and browsing any non-social media app I had on my phone.
In hindsight, it would have helped if I had another outlet other than my diary and books.
I lacked major responsibilities.
Pre-pandemic most people were under the supervision of managers and bosses who would be none too pleased if every time they walked past, they found you on the phone. I didn’t work often. Matter of fact I didn’t have a full-time job until I was twenty-five. I had no children to take care of, and no bills to pay that would force me to work.
Even though I understand most people check their phones at work, people who take care of themselves have at least eight hours a day that is supposed to be dedicated to their jobs and not their phones.
I had no personal goals I wanted to achieve.
I first began my journey because I wanted to better spend my time.
With no friends to turn to and no job, things got hard. I had dreams but no path in my mind to make them a reality. During my breaks, I did not have a goal that I would work tirelessly for. I could not see my endgame.
As the title suggests, it’s taken me several times to come to this conclusion, and the journey may be never-ending, but the more times I try the more control I gain each time.
That is the most encouraging point you should understand.
