7 Things Your Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist Wants You to Know
Maybe you will never be in a situation where you are talking to a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist, but in case you do… read on!
We all have bad periods in life when nothing seems to be working. Moreover, everything seems to be falling apart. You or your loved one might decide to talk to a professional, which I would encourage. There are simply some things that your friends can’t advise you on. Even if they can, sometimes it is good to hear an opinion of an unbiased third person.
So let’s dive into a couple of things we want you to know from the start.
1. We have been through this before with another patient — and that’s a good thing!
We all like to think we are very special, which in reality — I am very sorry to break it to you — may not be the case. At the same time, it doesn’t mean we are not unique. Of course, we are!
For example, suppose we are currently struggling with depression or panic attacks. In that case, we are most likely experiencing a variety of symptoms through which are other people suffering from depression going as well. That makes a job of a person diagnosing you easier. We recognize the problem, and since we have already had similar cases, we are quite sure how to help you solve it.
On the other side, the situation leading you to experience these symptoms can be different; therefore, your story, your background, your family, your education, your surroundings, social contacts, your financial status are quite unique. Don’t be afraid to share it! It will help us to make a better diagnosis.
2. We know when you lie
We encourage you to talk and to share. Our goal is to get you to trust us by listening attentively. Why? Because once you feel comfortable with us, we can start doing our job — we can start helping. To build that relationship, trust has to go both ways.
However, for some reason, there are always people who are too ashamed to say the truth, so they lie. Or they are simply so convinced they are telling the truth they don’t even know they are lying. Maybe, at first, they get away with it, but all doctors make sure to check things twice.
One of the things we often do as physicians and psychiatrists is to ask someone from your family about the same topic. So if there are discrepancies in these two stories and if it is important, we make sure to investigate. The funny thing about lying is that it doesn’t help us help you. So please, tell the truth.
Remember, trust and honesty is the key to every successful relationship. If it is not trustworthy and honest, how can it be successful?
3. We don’t ask stupid questions
You might think asking about your mother, your previous relationships, or the way you were as a child is unnecessary when you have a problem with your boss, who is not your mother and with whom you would never want to be in a relationship either way. All of the above can be true, but we don’t ask questions just to chat. We always have a reason behind a question. Even the small talk at the beginning of the therapy session might be quite useful for us to assess your current state and condition.
4. Conversations with us are a little bit different than with other people
Just like we mentioned in the previous point, our questions have meaning and intention behind them, therefore our conversations as well. They are structured and well thought-through. Every therapist has a way of leading the conversation. It mostly depends on the type of therapy your therapist is implementing. However, there a no rules written in stone (at least not that I am aware of).
During the conversation, we like to make you comfortable and give you time to express yourself. We understand it is not an easy task to do — to share your very private thoughts with a stranger. Maybe you have never put all of these feelings into words before. We understand you need time to form the sentences and convey your thoughts the best way you can. In any case, we are very comfortable with silence and waiting.
No rush, we have all the time in the world! (Okay, that might be slightly misleading — we have time just till the end of the session)
5. You are not boring, we are just busy
If you were wondering why we keep glancing at that watch while we are listening or talking to you, here is your answer: we are trying to be punctual. Now and then, we don’t succeed, but we are trying to do as much as we can in as little time that has been given to us. We need to keep track of time for your sake and for the sake of a person that will come after you.
We are not checking the time (hopefully not too often!) because you are boring us or because your story is boring. It’s simply because we need to keep track.
6. We have no problems with you finding another therapist
The relationship between a patient and a psychotherapist is strictly a professional one. Therefore, when you feel like your needs are not being met, or you feel there is something off in your relationship with your therapist — it’s time to change. There is a great chance that your therapist is aware of that, and most likely, they will discuss it with you.
Just like in any other relationship, partners in therapeutic relationships may not be compatible. This is real life, not a Rom-Com, where total opposites attract.
Don’t be scared to ask to get another therapist. Trust me, and we won’t be offended. We might ask why, of course, to improve and do better with the next patient.
7. We don’t analyze people outside of the office — okay, maybe sometimes
You would think that all we do every day is go around and judge everyone we meet. We analyze the feelings, actions, and reactions. Then surely we think about them and analyze some more. Maybe we even consult our colleagues. Next, we write all of our thoughts down.
Well, that’s the problem, we do! But after a long workday that is the last thing we want to do in our free time. What we like to do in our free time is relax and destress. Most of us like to spend time with our families and friends, not thinking about our patients or customers.
Of course, from time to time, we do encounter and meet new people in our private lives, where we can’t help but notice certain behaviors, sentences that might seem a bit odd or conspicuous. Naturally, we assess the situation and the person. According to that we probably decide if we are willing to spend some more time with this person or not.
The thing is — everyone is doing it. We all try to fit other people into boxes where we have already put in the people we know or knew. One might call it — a red flag assessment. However, we have no interest in taking up a new case while we are trying to relax on a nice evening out.
Maybe the last thing to add: don’t forget, we are humans too.
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