A Letter To My Future Self
What do you want to tell yourself in the future?
Yesterday, today and later. I am still me, regardless of the changes I will receive
Hi, how are you? Hope you are fine there. I hope that the seeds that I have planted and cared for with difficulty will bear fruit there. So you just pick it and enjoy it with the things that make your heart happy.
Today, spring. But it rains occasionally. In the meantime I mustered all my courage to write this letter to you. The goal is simple. I just want to calm myself down here.
In addition, I hope that with this letter you can also be a little nostalgic by laughing at the many things that you have been through. I hope this letter will become a bridge of time for us.
How many more times do I have to go up and down to get what I need?
I know some questions can sometimes be dangerous if we know the answers. Therefore, in this letter. I’m going to ask you some dangerous questions that you don’t need to answer.
Father once said that in our heads, lies a great gift, which is rarely possessed by humans in general. The gift is named, the question. He said, the questions in our heads will lead us to the future we need.
But to be honest I prefer to call it not a gift, but a curse that I have to calm down in this letter.
Is the path I chose the right path?
Here I am growing. Receive and learn many things; Accept loss, learn to appreciate existence. Accept failure, learn to rise. Accept imperfection, learn to be enough. Accept disappointment, learn to grow up.
Because I’m still growing. Here, I’m also not completely a good human being. Sometimes I still curse, am selfish, not easily grateful and many others. But believe me, I’m trying to keep getting better day by day.
I don’t know if the method I chose is right or not. But I’m sure you already know the answer.
Is it true that I managed to find myself?
Here, I’m spending a lot of time proving something to someone or otherwise. I keep forcing myself to fight things. Without exception. All the paths that I broke through, unfortunately I still feel like everything I do only leads me to other possibilities.
Besides that, Every night here and every time I look in the mirror, I have never found myself alone. Every night here, there is a silence that boasts too much. Every night here, several possibilities are fond of fighting in my head until dawn. But between those nights, I always pray. Hopefully there, your nights will be much calmer and more comfortable to chat with.
Is it true, in the end I will be surrounded by people who love me sincerely?
Sincerity? Honestly I have no idea what sincerity in the future will sound like.
Now, sincerity is silent. I once believed that sincerity did not exist; Humans do good, only because they are afraid that they are considered bad humans. People give only because they are afraid that heaven’s door will not open when they knock several times. Humans take advantage of other humans. So don’t be surprised, maybe this situation still continues.
Because for me, love and sincerity is a long war that requires so much pain and blood. Whoever can’t endure the pain and bleeds first, will lose.
Are my regrets still haunting me there?
Regret is like air; Invisible, but able to reach you anytime and anywhere.
I have learned many things from regret. But still, regret won’t be able to give me new news in the past.
Everything I have chosen here, has consequences for you to bear there. Small choices can have big consequences. Big choices can have small consequences. Sometimes not even both. Again, I hope you are much better at dealing with regret than I am here.
At least, if here I am not able to kill our regrets. I really hope you are able to seduce him to be a lover of time.
Is there in the end where I can truly be happy?
Here, these days it’s a little hard to tell which ones are really happy and which ones are just pretending.
How can humans be happy in their entirety when there are wounds and sacrifices that are still stored in their bodies.
Happiness is a cheap feeling deliberately displayed in big stores and priced at the highest price.
I’m a little worried about the happiness I have now. But never mind. I hope that there you have found the answer. I hope there, happiness will again get subsidies from the government so that everyone can save at least one happiness to display in their living room.
Sorry if some questions will hurt you. But forget it. We should both understand that the universe is uncertain.
Despite everything I have written in this letter. I hope this letter reaches you safely. I hope you also read it while enjoying all the things that make your heart happy.
I don’t know what year you will receive this letter. But again, I hope you still have time to read this letter before death comes first.
Maybe just here. Stay healthy and thank you very much.
