Advice of a Brother for His Sister -Part 2
Series on discussions between siblings on career choice, decision making and navigating college
Context:
This section will talk about the overall context of the series- “Advice of a brother for his sister”
My sister has recently been admitted to XLRI(Xavier School of Management, India) college for Post Graduate Diploma in General Management. Since I have done an MBA in Operations Management, and as an elder sibling there are a few pieces of advice I try giving my sister and they are captured in a conversational tone and unfiltered.
The style of this series is a query and the answers/advice or perspective of an elder brother. Also, this helps me miss my sister a bit less as she left her home to pursue her studies in a different city in India.
Topic:
This section will talk about the context specific to my sister’s query and how I was able to give an answer, not necessarily the answers are correct but it’s just a perspective, provided based on the information available at hand and my personal experience in similar situations.
In Part 1 we saw how my sister was finding her way in her college. We learnt a little about her dilemma in navigating the plethora of committees she should apply for and choose from.
Today’s discussion captures the discussion around her prep to deliver an elevator pitch on why should she be selected on the committee and not letting “stage fright” govern decision making.
Sister: So I have an important pitch for Culture committee, tomorrow! Do you think I should deliver the pitch?
Me: I didn’t know you applied to it! It was not on your list, right?
Sister: Yes I added it coz I miss organizing various events. You remember back then, when I was in school I helped my teachers to organize and manage the events with rigor. They used to put me in charge of the Coordination for “Annual Day” and praised me for my eye for detail. Further, during my office days I volunteered in events like World Environment Day, Women’s Day, and built a culture around sustainability & respect.
Me: Ya, but you can't do everything, and beside you need to prioritize the cause that won't let you die in peace if you leave it unfulfilled.
Sister: What do you mean not let me die in peace! What kind of thought is that, are you a sadist or a well-wisher? How could you bring in death and all!
Me: Relax, stop being so paranoid!
Sister: Who is being paranoid, you must be paranoid. What does paranoid mean anyways!
Me: Ok, got it you are not paranoid.. What I mean is it's a way of thinking that I follow when confronted with multiple opportunities and have the bandwidth to take on a few only.
Sister: Aha..so why don’t you speak English? Using paranoid and whatnot (Taking a mental note: I must look up the meaning of Paranoid, also would have to watch Shashi Tharoor’s speeches to keep up with this Brother of mine..)
Me: Ya, apologies. So the idea is to contemplate what would you do if you were to die tomorrow. Then observe your thoughts objectively, and suddenly you will have the answer.
Sister: This can't be so simple and telling is easier than doing. You only keep giving “gyan”(Here it means a sarcastic way of referring to unsolicited information/knowledge)..Do you know how difficult it is to come up with a list of 3–4 committees out of more than 15 available ones? And now you saying all this nonsense. (Taking a mental note: But let me give it a try, and see what I want to do the most)
Sister: Say if I do whatever foolish exercise you suggested, and if the answer is that I would want to help each of my batchmates to pursue their dream job and make it more of a realistic goal instead of a “dream” then certainly Cultural committee would not be the first choice right!
Me: Yes not directly. But indirectly everything you do in any committee actually adds up to shape your & others' goals. But in this context you are right.
Sister: So then I won’t do the Pitch for Cultural committee.
Me: It's your decision and it depends.
Sister: Depends on what!
Me: What is driving the decision to not give the pitch?
Sister: Do you have a problem in giving a yes or no answer?
Me: I could, if the consequences of the decision directly impacted me, but since it's going to affect you, I won't let you shrug the responsibility of making a decision.
Sister: I had enough of it already and here comes the torture!
Me: So it depends if you are taking the decision based on rationality or fear.
Rationale here would be if you would want to allocate your effort to something relatively more meaningful, rather than preparing for this pitch.
Fear would be your apprehension towards standing in front of an audience and talking about yourself.
Sister: Ok, I am not afraid of anything!
Me: I know you are a brave girl. But ask the question to yourself, be honest with yourself, and take action. You don't need to tell me or anyone about it.
Me: If you have the slightest doubt that it's fear governing the decision then you better go up to that stage and deliver something. Even if your hands tremble, legs shiver or you lose voice you go up there and make sure you deliver…its a fight within your mind that you cannot afford to lose.
Sister: Ya, ya..I am hanging up now, talk to you later.
