Almost 20 years on! To My Love — October Competition.
18 years ago today, he picked me up from work at 3 in the morning in the freezing Delhi cold, as promised. A promise I doubted he would have kept, given the fact that he had no cell phone for me to remind him. He proved me wrong, as he turned up, dressed like he was for a trip to the South Pole. If not for the wide, wide smile on his face, it would have been a laughable sight. We bought beer, and as I rode behind him with cold bottles of beer between my legs, my hands trying to keep warm in his pockets, the world held endless possibilities. We watched the sunrise together, glasses of golden beer in our hands, smoke from our cigarettes swirling and blending into the fog around us. He reached over saying “You have lovely eyes”. I pulled him closer, “You should see them when the sun glints in them, they will have you mesmerized”.
My husband and I have seen almost 20 years together since that first kiss. More than half of them married. We added a dog and 2 little monsters to our little family to boot. In spite of the chaos, every year, I find he can still surprise me with things about him. Surprise me in the ways he loves us.
This year, on the 18th anniversary of our first date, in this long journey of hopefully many, many more years to come, I decided to count my blessings. In the humdrum of the everyday mundane, these definitely have given me enough to look forward to our golden years.
Dearest husband,
1) I love how you try so hard to not laugh at my sad jokes. Beware, I see you stifle that sneaky grin anyway
2) I love how I’m always someone to pamper as far as you’re concerned. How you often say “If not for my wife then for whom?”
3) How when I’m at my most insecure as a mother, you will sit me down and tell me all the reasons why I don’t need to worry.
4) Knowing how you place your faith in me when it comes to the wellbeing of your family and trust my intentions always. Thank you
5) I love your passion for things. The passion that makes you go, read up, know everything on a topic possible and still not gloat about it. Honestly? You probably should!
6) I love your persistence. You’re a man who looks a problem in the eye and says I will fix this no matter what. If you decide it’s worth your time that is!
7) I love how you are able to assess what is worth your time and what isn’t so beautifully.
8) I love how hands-on you are. With me, with our children, the kitchen, the house. We’ve all felt the comfort of you folding your sleeves up and showing us how to really get involved.
9) You’re HOT! Yes, there’s a beer belly, yes there’s moobs. But. Look at you! Look at the sexiness that is you! Add in your willingness to do no matter what it takes to keep us going. How could I not go weak in the knees
10) I love how completely you have embraced fatherhood. First with Sparky and then with our son and now, completely besotted with our daughter. You’ve learnt to sleep with the lights on, learnt to sleep on the tiniest bit of bed available and still wake up cheerful and ready to greet the minions with a smile. Even if that cheer is only sometimes extended to the wife who really appreciates it!
11) You are an amazingly intelligent man. I adore that about you. Even after all these years, you astound me with everything that you know. And that too without carrying the aura of a know-it-all!
12) How much do you respect commitment. I learnt to go all-in from you. To put both feet in and stay all the way in. To respect marriage and its vows. To stop keeping one foot out the door.
13) You’re an undoubtedly decent man. So full of goodness. Your words may be pins and thorns at times, but your heart is pure gold. I see that I love that, and I am so, so proud of that heart of yours.
14) You are not ashamed to have opinions that are divergent from popular opinion. Neither are you afraid to admit it and be outspoken about it. And even though it can make my life miserable at times, I love that about you.
15) I love your confidence in yourself. I am yet to meet someone who carries it so silently!
16) The grace you have shown me, the way you have let me grieve Sparky’s passing. You’ve had your own grief to process, but you were there for me, no matter what I needed. When grief threatens to overwhelm me, you manage to make space for me. Thank you, love.
17) I cannot be more amused at the irony that you introduced me to Medium and the endless joy of writing here!
18) I am so grateful to have had you home during the pandemic. To have you all to ourselves has been a treat. Through the illnesses, through the long hours, through the never-ending frustrations of being cooped up at home with the little monkeys, you have been a rock. I love how we’ve built our own family traditions along the way.
I love you for loving me and our family the way you do. Completely, unashamedly, protectively, and angrily too. You’ve shown me it’s OK to feel and show an entire range of emotions. That it’s OK to be ugly at times, both inside and outside. And once I rage and subside, you’ll still be there. You’ve shown me how the home will always be your heart.
Together, we’ve built this family that makes my heart swell with gratitude. I can’t wait to see what the decades ahead bring!
