Am I Cold, or Are You Just Codependent?
Do you have to be with someone every day to be close to them?
After 15 years of living abroad, a lot of people assume I’m a cold person, and they have no problem saying it out loud. Especially when the topic of family comes up.
“I could never do what you did,” they say. “Just leave like that, without being there for your family.”
I already know what’s coming, so I’ve got the eye roll prepared.
“I guess my family is just closer than yours,” they usually end. Sometimes, they try to explain themselves. “But I’m just much more a family person.”
Are you, though? Or are you just codependent?
The Reward of Living Abroad
People tend to assume that the reason you leave your country is that you’re escaping something, or that you don’t have great relationships with the people at home. I don’t deny that I didn’t feel comfortable in my hometown. But still, for me moving abroad was much more about moving toward something.
I always wanted to live abroad. My hometown felt oppressive, too small and boring, too filled with people who knew exactly who I was, too judgmental. Finnish people are too quiet, it didn’t fit my personality. But most of all, there were…
