An Excerpt from the Diary of a Misunderstood Introvert
I’m an introvert surrounded by the glorious extroverts
There are times when I’m expected to be a part of gatherings that exhaust me even as I think about them. The upcoming conversations take over my mind. A range of thoughts attack my brain.
‘What am I supposed to talk about?’ ‘Are there any topics I should stay away from?’ ‘Do I sound stupid when I talk about this or that?’ And then comes the big one, I say something, and a friend points out: ‘That was rude.’ THAT sends me into the ‘silent mode.’
Well, here’s a confession. Firstly, I’m not someone who likes to talk a lot, and I’m not someone who likes to meet a lot of people. The reason? It is simply exhausting. I don’t hate anyone. My brain goes through short circuits every few minutes, I get socially awkward, yet I’m expected to paste a smile on my face and interact! Isn’t that pressure a little extra to handle?
I’m sorry if something that I said sounded different from what I meant. My brain was processing so much in that one moment.
As an introvert, I find myself apologizing for being ME so many times (like I just did). There are days when I wish that people were more aware and understanding. Like I understand when they want to party non-stop, meet every day, and hang out every other night. I don’t expect them to change. I love that they have such different personalities. Sometimes, they even inspire me. But for them to expect me to change the way I am is a little unfair to be honest.
Heck, as I write this diary entry, I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, the massive judgment that’s going to come my way from the people I know.’ Am I even ready to take that? I guess I’ll never be ready for that, but that’s how it has been for the last 29 years of my life!
I’ve been misunderstood as rude, arrogant, mean, snooty, and the works. But I think my friends know, the ones who’ve grown up with me, that I’m anything but that. They’ve stuck with me as I have with them. We’ve leaned on each other through times, good and bad. I’m a normal person, just wired differently.
Final Thoughts
At the end of this diary entry, I want to make a wish. I wish that people were more emotionally aware. When you shun an introvert for not wanting to hang out all the time, or when you misunderstand their quiet nature to be rude, you are stunting your emotional growth and pushing them further away from you.
And to my fellow introverts, thank you for being you. This world needs good listeners like us!
