An Existential Crisis Is Not a Bad Sign (It’s the Opposite)
You need to make the most of your anxiety.
I had an existential crisis yesterday.
I am 21, and I cannot even blame it on puberty. I am way beyond that. I want to share a few things that led me to it and a few things that led me out.
People in their 20s have a lot going on. Most of us think we must sail our ships into the rough ocean, and if anything goes wrong, we drown. In reality, we are placed in a swimming pool a few meters in depth. You can’t drown in it, but we still have this uneasy feeling because of “fear.”
Fear has a lot of implications for our lives. However, without fear, we can’t understand true freedom.
The same can be said about an existential crisis. It is not a bad thing.
You might be wondering about “crisis.” Where’s the good in that?
Others’ opinion has already burdened the person and they cannot do it anymore. They will not accept stuff because others told them to do so. Stubborn, to say the least. They want freedom because the coldness of fear makes them shiver.
That’s when I came around to the theory of identity formation by James Marcia.
Identity Foreclosure
It is the type of identity where a person accepts the identity given to them by their friends and society.
They don’t question whether it’s for them or not. They are just living through it. This level does not cause that much anxiety because the person in control isn’t really in control.
There was a time when people had a foreclosure identity. People would pick up the professions left by their parents to fill in the gap. However, it isn’t the case nowadays; many people want more out of life, and that’s why the foreclosure identity doesn’t sound that promising.
Nobody wants to be a puppet anymore.
Identity Diffusion
In this type of identity, a person does not conform to one particular thing. But they are not even interested in finding out about others.
The person does not care about anything. Again, this one has minimal anxiety because the person doesn’t care.
Diffusion sounds like an intelligent choice because it might be easy not to care. However, it doesn’t work long enough. Try if you want.
Identity Moratorium
This identity status is where all the pain lies.
It causes anxiety because the person is exploring a lot of things but can’t commit to anything. People in an existential crisis could be in this phase because it is mainly concerned with not accepting what’s been given to them and instead searching for their own.
The main idea of the moratorium is exploration so you can move ahead to the next phase.
Identity Achievement
Passion and obsession. This phase can be achieved after we’ve explored options and committed to something we like. This phase is less anxiety-based because the person has faced more significant questions and found answers.
There’s not much to explain about the achievement phase except it’s great for the ones who have reached it.
Remember this during your moratorium phase.
It’s okay to have anxiety because you can’t stick to something.
Once you understand that it’s okay if you can’t commit to something at first, Start questioning everything. Your sole focus should be trying out your likes, dislikes, and even things you are lukewarm about.
It’s not a hidden treasure that you have to find. Keep going until you create. It’s a blank canvas where you must keep throwing colors until it becomes a masterpiece or ends in chaos. If it gets chaotic, you can start over again as long as you are alive.
Isn’t this too much work? I’ll answer your question with another question. Is it worth staying anxious forever?
You are the only one who can cure the itch acting on you.
Conclusion
An existential crisis isn’t the end of the world. Instead, consider that your training wheels are off, and you must try until you can ride alone.
- You will have lots of anxiety, so you should keep going.
- You will be busy exploring (moratorium), which takes time. However, it might help you find your forever game.
- You are more likely to understand yourself better because you have been through all that anxiety and interrogation, which will raise your self-awareness.
Thank you for reading this article. Remember, staying there is not your best option if you feel lost. Keep moving.
