Being a Creator With ADHD — The Struggle Is Real!
How Can You Write When It’s Impossible To Focus?
I’m generally quite frustrated and stressed as my mind has virtually no control over my thoughts.
It’s a gargantuan task for me to carry out tasks that require even a small amount of focus and concentration.
Throughout my life, I’ve had trouble focusing, but things got particularly worse in my mid-twenties.
I have ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), which causes severe focusing problems. In my case, it manifests as a strongly hyperactive mind.
My mind is very easily distracted and random thoughts are constantly entering in and out of my consciousness. I feel quite restless, irritable and impatient in general.
My mind completely lacks the ability and discipline to instil order and calmness. I don’t at all have true peace of mind. Worse still, I feel disempowered and not in control of my mind, which greatly affects my self-confidence.
I’m unable to take charge of my thoughts and direct my focus to any one thing for even a brief moment before getting distracted by another intruding thought. My attention is just so easily pulled towards such random thoughts.
A Giant Obstacle In My Writing Ambitions!
Currently, this hugely frustrating problem of mine is severely screwing up my writing efforts!
I genuinely want to write new stories and engage with other writers. At this point, I see writing as the most desirable way for me to earn a decent income, given my circumstances.
I am determined and committed to succeeding as a writer so that I can make an actual living out of it and adequately sustain myself.
I’m very eager to grow rapidly so that I can faster achieve that point of being able to earn decently and be comfortably independent financially.
But it’s insanely hard for me to acquire the focus and willpower needed to grow at all as a writer. With my general state of mind, growing as a writer has been quite an uphill battle!
It’s Been A Daily Struggle To Make Any Sort Of Progress
Ever since I started my blogging journey 9 months ago, it’s been extremely challenging for me to consistently create new stories and engage with other writers.
And it’s maddening and incredibly demotivating as I know that the only way anyone can make decent progress in their pursuits is by being firmly consistent.
When it comes to writing, not only do you have to be consistent, but you also have to produce and release content fairly frequently to get noticed by others.
This has placed a lot of pressure on me to overcome my deeply rooted focusing problems so that I can perform adequately as a writer and grow.
I Am Pissed Off, But Not At Myself
Looking back on these past couple of months and seeing my progress, I’m honestly not disappointed with myself.
I know what mental hardships I had to go through, and that anyone in my position would’ve found the whole process extremely challenging and disheartening. Some would have even quit writing as all the pressure and stress would have been seen as simply not worth the effort.
For me, what kept me going was my belief that if I was persistent enough, I could gradually improve my focus and with that, my productivity and efficiency in my writing efforts would also gradually improve.
So, I kept showing up each day to write and engage with other writers, and it has contributed to my growth as a writer up to this point. My level of focus has also improved, at least compared to when I first started writing.
Of course, I really wish things were different and that I could properly focus on my work. I wish I could have been way more productive and efficient in my efforts these past couple of months.
Most of all, I wish I could’ve made far better progress and started to earn fairly decent amounts, 9 months into my writing journey!
So yeah, that part is disappointing and frustrating for me. But at the same time, I’m also realistic and pragmatic.
Therefore, I choose to take things in my stride and try to be proud of myself for putting in huge efforts in the first place and persisting up to this point, despite my tough circumstances.
I Do Believe Things Can Only Get Better From Here
Moving forward, my main goals remain the same, that is to further improve my focus and increase my productivity in writing and engagement.
Most recently, I’ve been able to improve my focus just enough that I can properly practice deep breathing to be more present-minded. Before, I couldn’t even do that as my attention was just haywire.
With this newfound ability to breathe deeply and cultivate present-mindedness, my focus has also naturally improved. I’m grateful for this development and I fully intend to practice it daily so that I can bring further much-needed improvement to my focus sooner.
Overall, I’m glad that I’m able to spend my time each day writing, instead of not doing anything meaningful, wasting time with passive entertainment, and ruminating on my problems.
Being a creator with ADHD is absolutely tough! Nevertheless, I’m glad that my writing at least keeps me preoccupied and I’m improving.
What about you guys? Do any of you experience focusing problems that heavily disrupt your writing?
Do let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading!
Copyright Raveen Jeyakumar, 2024. All rights reserved.
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