Being clever: Blessing or Curse? Insights from My Traumas
Seeking Meaning in the Chaos, writing.
Let’s start with the essentials: Should you read this story?
If you relate to existential depression, monumental ambitions, hunger for knowledge, deep and painful yet precious and unique feelings, then yes, we could understand each other.
Is it worth your time?
This will be a brief and concise introduction to the topics I have great knowledge of: Psychology, Nutrition, Linguistics, Philosophy, and some Physics. I’ll tell you how they all relate and what they can offer you.
What will you get in return?
Encouragement to pursue your multiple and seemingly opposing interests as I share about myself so we can get to know each other.
TW: This start with hard topics but it gets better, I promise.
You have been blessed.
To begin, let me tell you that not having a purpose only makes you blessed by nature
“Every day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.” — Arthur Schopenhauer
We, as ‘fragile social mammals,’ live in communities, but it goes beyond that; we interact with nature in an infinite cycle of matter and energy transformation. When you start studying, for example, mathematics, you begin to see it everywhere.
Now, imagine if you’ve been blessed with a passion for exploring all subjects; that’s where you begin to see the world as a constantly moving unit instead of viewing everything separately and without relation.
Just think, the fact that you were born is the result of thousands and thousands of mathematical coincidences among humans, food, hormones, travels, feelings… This has allowed me to realize that I actually know nothing.
“I would give up all my knowledge for half of what I do not know.” — René Descartes
I would even exchange all that I know for one trillionth part of what I do not know; I do not think I could tolerate any more.
1/5 MENTAL HEALTH AND NUTRITION: Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge & self harming.
I wish I had cried for men instead of…
In my adolescence, I battled bulimia and anorexia. Moving away to study languages and linguistics, far from my parents and with the desire to distance myself from my family, I realized that to achieve my intellectual and physical goals, such as being an athlete, a speaker, and having children, I needed to address my eating disorders.
In pursuit of physical and mental balance, I discovered the crucial role of nutrition. However, focusing solely on it was not enough. That’s why I began integrating psychology into my approach because, what good is a healthy body with a sick mind?
Nurturing my physical vessel was futile without tending to the labyrinth of my mind.
2/5 I will die just as you will too
In regards to existential depression, I have sought refuge in physics and philosophy as I struggle to believe that life makes sense when, inevitably, I will die. Therefore, viewing life not as a beginning with an end but as an experience constantly transforming within the universe keeps me alive.
I want to understand the world beyond the strict scientific method because therein lies a thousand nuances, yet at the same time, it is science that allows me to stay grounded.
3/5 Life deserves to be live
The aim of becoming well-versed in these subjects is to create language (literature and knowledge) to help those going through similar experiences.
Life deserves to be lived, and many of us are daily tempted with the idea that it doesn’t. Therefore, my intention is to assist others, as I cannot envision a successful society without starting from the root: a complete, capable, and purposeful individual.
4/5 Why I’m starting on Medium?
Read carefully this invaluable fragment from ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’
“Do not squander your wealth of days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar. These are the false ideals of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost. Seek always new sensations. Be afraid of nothing…” Oscar Wilde
I embark on this journey of reading, writing, and feedback because I fear being worm meat, finding myself in my last days longing to change the past of “having done something.” Writing, sharing, and creating knowledge are among the most unique and accessible ways I see of belonging to the immortality of our universe.
5/5 so what?
“Knowledge is like a vast ocean; the more you learn, the more you realize how much remains to be discovered.” — Isaac Newton.
So… Fearful of wasting time and surrendering my freedom to the tedious, my only escape is to learn and express myself. I am an enthusiastic student of the following subjects to varying degrees of depth: Film, Literature, Psychology, Philosophy, Physics, Nutrition, Linguistics, and Languages.
For the expert, there is only one path; for the novice, all paths are open. Here, I will keep you informed daily of debates, news, reasoning, and events relevant to our mental and physical growth.
Hey, I’m Heidy. My native language is Spanish, and I study French, Italian, and English. Therefore, if you find errors in my writing, structure, cohesion, or coherence, I would greatly appreciate your advice. Feel free to ask, comment, or question. Knowledge, I repeat and reiterate, is for sharing. Let me know what you think.
I sincerely congratulate you if you made it this far; you are utilizing your intellectual abilities and using the only true currency: your attention and your time.
If you want to help this poor hopeless soul, consider subscribing (it’s free) so we can stay in touch.
Gmail: Heidystongue@gmail.com
