Control What’s Controllable
A Perception Change
Arguably the most essential skill for your mental health is responding appropriately to what you can and can not control. Most people know when a situation is out of their control or not, but they can’t control how they respond. This all comes down to a matter of perception and two questions you need to ask yourself before you react to a situation: Is this something I can control? If I get angry about this, will the problem be rectified?
If your answer to the first question is yes and you wish to change the situation, give it your time and attention. If the answer to the first question is no, move on to question number two. Spoiler alert; the answer to question two is no. I can’t think of a situation that is improved by anger, yet we get angry about things we couldn’t change if our lives depended on it. I’m willing to bet you have gotten mad about some politically related issue over the last couple of years. Even though there is nothing you could do to change whatever you were angry about in the first place, you were infuriated and let it ruin at least part of your day.
When it rains on your day off, so you can’t play golf or go fishing, or your favorite sports team loses, remember this: you can’t control those things, so don’t let those things control you. This concept rolls over into your relationships as well. When you are mindful and logical with your responses to issues, your relationships are better; your family and friends reap the benefits of your newfound perception.
Most of us have experienced the death of a loved one. Unfortunately, some of us have also experienced a family member who made this bad situation much worse with their actions. Your response to crisis is so important that there is literally nothing bad enough that you can’t make worse by responding poorly.
On a lighter note, applying this concept to your life will make you a happier and more productive person. You will spend much less time worrying about things you can’t change, and you will have much more time to work on the things you can change. You can’t control the weather, and you shouldn’t try. Focus on controlling what’s controllable; it will change your life.
