FEAR: The Thief and Killer of Dreams.
We don’t procrastinate because we are lazy, we procrastinate because we are scared!
Fear is a natural and primitive emotion that can be experienced by everyone to some degree. It alerts us to the presence of danger, whether they be real or imagined.
We may experience the emotion of fear when in different situations such as walking home alone at night, when faced with someone or something we perceive as dangerous, skydiving out of a plane or taking that leap towards our dreams and desires — either by fear of criticism, failure, judgement or just lacking courage.
Fear arises with the threat of harm, either physical, emotional, or psychological (real or imagined). While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe as it mobilises us to cope with potential danger, can caution us not to stroll into a lion’s den or put all our life savings into an investment portfolio.
In this article I will be writing from the perspective of dream chasing fears. That fear that stops us from dream realisation. That fear that holds off action and encourages procrastination and stagnancy. You know the fear I speak of. We know we are capable of much much more than our current circumstances, in fact most of us have ideas in our mind that could completely change our reality.
We know the idea is solid and our vision is clear but we just can’t muster the courage to chase that dream. To give birth to that idea. To bring into reality the vision in the mind. Harsh truth: You already know what to do to achieve your goals, you just don’t have the courage/discipline to achieve it.
Okay, we all are not chasing our dreams and desired reality due to lack of courage, sometimes it is the “logical” thoughts we have at night. You know the “it is irresponsible and reckless to sacrifice a paycheck”, “I just don’t have enough time to juggle work and chase dreams”, “Darren started a business but failed 6 months later” etc. The truth? All those thoughts are exaggerated. Your fear of taking actions and making decisions are a result of watching yourself fail to act and make decisions.
Good decisions, not perfect decisions is one that moves us towards our goals. It doesn’t have to catapult us there, as long as it shifts us closer.
The James-Lange theory on emotions proposes that our emotions occurs as a result of physical responses to events. We see a lion, run like Bolt, notice our heart rate beating at crazy digits per minute and then conclude we are terrified.
This theory states things are actually the other way around. So we are fearful about taking the necessary steps towards our goals because we have attached negative thoughts to the task, how about if we attach positive thoughts to the task and see if our actions change?
“I don’t have time but could I plan my day and have 2 hours to work on my goals.” “Darren’s business failed but what are the lessons learned from it and does he identify it as ‘failure’?” “I can’t sacrifice this pay-check but could I work part time or get a loan, get temporary work and other adaptations I can think of to best assist me on this journey”.
Thinking this way is called having a solution base mind. Yes, we are aware of the problems — however, tasking our mind to give the necessary solution to solve the problems. You see most people are problem based thinkers; they find problems but do nothing about said problems and just continue to complain about it.
So, How Do We Eliminate FEAR?
I’ve had my battles with Fear over the years — fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of judgement, fear of coming out of my comfort zone — procrastinated for a few years. I couldn’t even tell you where this habit developed from. I was the complete opposite growing up — fearless (I guess we all were).
Quick storytime.
I woke up from a dream in January 2016 that I started a clothing line and I immediately began planning the vision and executed on it to bring that vision into reality. Fast forward to 2017, my childhood friends and I had a very successful event and I quickly realised I loved putting events together — so again I planned a vision for this event to be a yearly summer occurrence, difference between this goal and the previous goal is I did not execute right away.
I held off execution on this plan until May 2022 — FIVE YEARS, crazy I know! It took some serious mindset reconstruction, subconscious reprogramming to change my habitual behaviour. Once I made that change, everything changed. Once you defeat fear once, future battles become easier.
NOTHING changes until YOU change!
I knew exactly what was stopping me, I knew it was all in my head, I just didn’t know how to overcome it. I did not have the tools or knowledge to deal with it. “What if it was just successful the first time because it was a group effort?” “Will people attend yearly?” “Could I pull it off all alone?”.
I had built it up so much in my head I was practically incapable of moving forward. Turns out there was nothing to fear lol, the event was a success. This is when I realised Fear is just ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’.
COURAGE is the YinYang to Fear. Courage is the only antidote to overcoming fear. The single best way to develop/boost courage is baby steps. Baby step actions towards the realisation of whatever your dreams are, every opportunity you get. When steps turn to strides you will realise just how courageous you are!
I was ignorant to this fact — a lack of knowledge. I was operating from negative connotations to the task rather than positively to attract a positive reality. I was using my imagination to picture the worst rather than using my imagination to envision the best. “How big could this be?” “How can I scale this up and monetise different avenues?”.
One of my many mentors is Bob Proctor — I study and practice his reliable work so I see him as a mentor. My suggestion would be you find someone who has done what you desire to accomplish and enrol them as your mentor; you do not have to know them physically, just study their work.
Bob speaks about the power of our thoughts and emotions. We can’t control the type of thoughts that arrive into our conscious mind, the part we can control is what we do when they appear.
He expanded by demonstrating a diagram that illustrates our thoughts leading to our paradigm, paradigms leads to our habits and habits leads to our actions which leads to our reality. (I will go into Paradigms, Quantum Leaps and Reality Jumps in another article). For now, really study the above image.
Thoughts are a constant thing in our conscious mind. It’s what we do with the thoughts that impress emotions to the subconscious mind. Whatever is impressed on the inside must be expressed on the outside (As Above so Below, As Within so Without).
So, let’s connect this back to the article; we need to understand the connection between our inside world and our outer reality. We think negatively in the conscious mind, we then impress the emotions we felt during that thought pattern onto the subconscious mind, our subconscious mind forms our paradigm and our paradigm creates our habits and habits are actioned by our body which then leads our reality.
Think to the basis of an individual projecting their inner insecurities as an example — They THINK they are unworthy and a failure (conscious mind), this thought pattern is repeated daily so now they FEEL like a failure who is unworthy (subconscious mind), they have impressed the feeling of unworthiness now the body MUST reflect that in reality.
Now they start projecting their insecurities, maybe they subconsciously build a habit of accusing their partner of not loving them. Or they build a habit of never attempting to do anything worthwhile due to feeling like a failure. They build a habit of projecting envy and jealousy towards anyone that knows their worth and value that isn't afraid to fail.
Remember, the subconscious mind and our paradigms control 95% of our daily activities.
Now the conscious mind is where the power is, we have a choice at that point how we want to react to a thought or situation, the subconscious has no choice as to what we feed it, it will take and accept anything. The subconscious mind cannot reject anything. It does not care if it is truth or if it is lies, it just accepts and builds the body a programming to function from.
What Bob Proctor suggests is the best way to shift our Paradigm is to change our perspective on thoughts and events to positive, once this happens everything changes. And I mean EVERYTHING.
However, it has to be done with repition. Repetitively having courageous thoughts and consciously being courageous will send a message to your subconscious to create a new programme for your body to function on.
If like me you were once ignorant to this information due to lack of access, you now have the knowledge to change your reality by shedding fear! The one emotion I never want to feel is Regret. I can feel heartbreak because that will heal, I can feel anger because that too will pass, but REGRET? That stays till death.
At 70 years old you are regretting not achieving or attaining your full potential, what could have been. Who you could have become. The heights you could have reached. Allowed fear to rob you of the opportunity to be great. To leave a legacy. I do not wish this for anybody.
“The long term effect of a negative paradigm is DIS-EASE and the long term benefit of a positive paradigm is AT-EASE, so you’ve got a choice. You can go that way or this way. But you’ve gotta admit the positive one sounds better. Just like learning to use technology, learning to drive, learning a new language, learning sports — you can learn how to take control over yourself and life”. — Bob Proctor.
“Honestly, the words I have shared in this article is the reason why I am able to put my work out for the world to view. The reason why I am able to make content on social media. The reason why I am able to do public speaking. The reason I action any ideas I have — even in the face of Fear. If I can overcome and continue to win this battle, so can you. I believe in you”. Be great, Be you, Never dim your light for anyone or anything!
Peace — ParadigmShftr.
