Finally Confident To Share My Story
The Moment I Hit My Lowest
I am an extroverted introvert.
My voice is loud when my thoughts are low,
My voice is low when my thoughts are loud.
Frank Lucas states that “the loudest person in the room is the weakest person in the room,” and reflecting on my past, I’m starting to see why.
This is where my story begins — at the moment I believe I hit my lowest.
I was the class clown; I would irritate teachers for a few laughs. It felt good at the moment — getting kicked out of class and repeating the cycle the next day. I was performing well, which allowed me to justify my behavior.
In Grade 7, I moved to a school with more challenging academics. My old habit of getting by with minimal effort suddenly started to backfire. I disrespected my teachers, sacrificing my reputation and morals for a temporary thrill. The reaction, however, was different: many classmates lost respect for me, and my teachers’ disappointment was evident. As I got desperate, I continued to disrupt the classroom and act careless day after day.
It had gotten so out of hand to the point where a doctor of mine diagnosed me with ADHD. My teachers agreed. My family was shocked. I’ve always thrived in challenging environments. What happened?
I thought that I was destined to be a failure. It felt like the world was telling me I was worthless and that I would never belong or have friends. Was I deluded this whole time? Or was it just a rough phase?
I was prescribed medications, which my parents refused to give me. My story kept getting worse. I scarcely passed my courses and was on the verge of a big decision in my life. Being younger than my classmates because I started school a year early left me torn between two choices:
- Do I redo Grade 7 at a different school and join my age group?
- Do I continue at the same school and change my habits?
On one hand, I worried about others thinking I had failed. On the other hand, changing schools offers the opportunity to learn from my mistakes and find where I truly belong.
I am an extroverted introvert, and that is how my story begins. I am posting the second part later this week, so stay tuned!
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Please feel free to reach out with any questions or thoughts you might have!
About Me Post: https://medium.com/@zedowrites/from-hating-writing-to-finding-my-voice-about-me-zedo-6c8bf0bf45a5
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Till next time,
Zedo
Works Cited
IMDb.com. (n.d.-b). American gangster. IMDb. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765429/characters/nm0000243
