Following my Truth Changed my Life
When you know it’s time for a change
The pandemic was an unusual time for everyone, myself included. I am someone who likes to get out and do things. Being shut in the house was rough from a social perspective. Fortunately, I was able to utilize my wifi connection and my laptop from Corporate America and continue to work.
I’m not lost on the fact a lot of people had it much worse than I did; they either lost their jobs or had a more chaotic home life than my peaceful home, so in those regards, I am grateful. Life really slowed down for me during the pandemic; we couldn’t travel like we used to, and like everyone else, were stuck in the house. The pandemic did give me the time to reflect on life which turned out to be a great gift. It gave me time to reflect on where I wanted to be in 5 or 10 years, aka the future.
It was during this time the realization hit me; I wasn’t living my truth, and putting it off to live my truth for the so-called “right time” was hurting my soul. The job, which allowed me to work from home the entire week, was no problem at all. I just came to the realization I didn’t want to do it anymore. Not the job per se, or the people; fortunately, the people I worked with were great. It was more about the task of doing the work. I found myself dreading opening the laptop in the morning to begin my day of meetings and responding to emails. Granted, I had a good job compared to others. A big part of me felt that I should be fortunate to be able to work from home in this uncertain time of the pandemic and fortunate I still had employment and could provide for my home. Despite knowing this, I couldn’t shake the feeling of opening the laptop in the morning to begin work. It was as if my soul left me and my desires had gone awry.
I knew it meant one thing; this chapter of my life was coming to a close. I felt like God was trying to close a door on this part of my life and open up a new door leading to new opportunities. An opportunity to work on what I wanted to work on instead of doing the corporate tasks asked of me. In this moment, I felt I was doing all I could to keep the door open that God was trying to close.
It made me think of someone who worked at a job for years, and throughout those years, had dreams and aspirations of doing something else but never acted upon them. I would witness, before the pandemic, some older male and female employees were grumpy and unwilling to try new things. The way they walked slowly into the office with a slight lean, stooped posture, and scowls on their faces. Always coming by my desk saying “I hate Mondays,” “Thank God it’s Friday, I can’t wait for this day to end,” “I hate my life,” “Shoot me now,” or keeping me abreast of whatever the latest gossip is in the office despite my not asking to hear about it.
It was obvious they stayed too long and didn’t know how to quit. I wonder if they thought of their deferred dreams over the course of decades and never acted upon them with a life of regret. Like me, who was trying to keep the door open God was trying to close, they pried the door open, walked back down the familiar hallways, and sat at their desks which permanently closed the door to future opportunities and dreams.
Part of me gets it. Dreams do not pay the bills. If this door is closing on this part of my life, then I have to have a plan for the next chapter of my life. My older co-workers taught me a valuable lesson without them even knowing it. I watched them and realized I didn’t want to be them. They had job security and bills were paid, but the peace of mind was long gone. Many were still living check to check. I have to figure out a way to have peace of mind and pay the bills. My mental state was telling me to let God close the door and stop fighting.
It was then, during the pandemic, I decided to work on my exit strategy. First, I had to clearly define what I wanted to do. I know at least part of the answer is writing. I want to keep this lane open and continue to write and improve my writing. I have books I have to get out of me before my time on earth expires.
Then the other part started to formulate. I was always fascinated by Real Estate. I picked a great time to make it a focus, trying to take clients to view a home or conducting an open house during the pandemic.
The third part is what I love to do, which is travel. I was one to utilize all my paid holidays in Corporate America and even exercised unpaid leave days for those long vacations. The most asked statement I used to receive, other than “Thank God It’s Friday,” was “Where are you going next?” I knew in the near future they were going to ask, “I heard the news; when is your last day?”
Well, I planned for the future silently as much as I could and took the leap in March 2022. The journey definitely has its ups and downs and has not gone as I initially planned. At times, I feel like I’m riding a bull at the rodeo, just hanging on for dear life. There are times when I wonder how long I can keep this up. It is during these times that an opportunity will come my way, and it gives me the strength to move forward. What I lost in the biweekly paycheck, I gained in my peace of mind, and I gained the opportunity to do what I love. If I had to do it all over again, I would, despite the rollercoaster ride. By the grace of God, I’m still here, still surviving, still planning my course, and still moving forward with my dreams.
© Clarence Chavis — All rights reserved
