Golden Slumbers Part-I: How to Overcome Difficulty Falling Asleep

How I win against limbic friction when going to bed

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Sleep is one of the most tricky aspects of the day that I have encountered. With so many readily available sources of entertainment trying to catch our attention and trigger our nervous system, I have found that relaxation for sleep has become a challenge. This is especially true when falling asleep, as there is always something interesting to read or watch on my phone or tablet during bedtime.

The fight against limbic friction

Falling asleep involves moving our balance towards the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting rest and digestion, and away from the flight and fight of the sympathetic nervous system. This is paradoxical: working hard to force ourselves to fall asleep causes us to be more awake. It is as if we are consciously trying to relinquish conscious control. I have also noticed that anything grabbing my interest activates my thought process, which I find difficult to stop. Andrew Huberman coined the term “limbic friction” to describe this phenomenon:

… strain that’s required to overcome one of two states within your body. One state is one of anxiousness, where you’re anxious and therefore you can’t calm down, you can’t relax, and therefore you can’t engage in some particular activity or thought pattern that you would like …
— Dr. Andrew Huberman [1]

Lessons from my sleep struggles

Due to my struggles with falling asleep, over several years, I have (actually had to/ ended up) developing an elaborate bedtime routine to help me fall asleep. I found that meds like Ambien and Melatonin are either temporary solutions or just ineffective. On the other hand, my routine has worked consistently. I am sharing the techniques that worked for me, hoping that they can also be helpful to the reader.

I: Avoiding Stimulation

1. No bedtime reading:
   Contrary to the norm, reading to go to sleep does not work for me, as it activates my mind by fueling thoughts and ideas. Therefore, I have moved my reading to first thing after waking, as this is when I am most receptive to new information.
2. Positive/Negative thought injection:
   I developed this technique to break the cycle of mind racing with anxious thoughts. It involves becoming aware of my inner monologue and injecting positive phrases like “That is good” for anxious what-if thoughts and negative phrases like “That sucks” for exciting thoughts. In my experience, I don’t need to provide a reason for these compensating phrases to work.
3. No evening exercise:
   I found physical exercise gets me too activated, causing bouts of insomnia just because I worked out closer to dinner time.

II: Seeking Relaxation

1. Cue the mind for sleep:
   I have created a TODO list called “Sleep Countdown” that I initiate around bedtime. This involves activities that wrap up my day: brushing my teeth, filling water bottle, setting alarm, washing dishes, etc. These rituals don’t require much physical or intellectual effort but cue my mind to initiate falling asleep.
2. Non-sleep deep relaxation (NSDR) with Box breathing:
   NSDR helps me relax by getting my attention on my body. I read somewhere that the effects of stress and excitement are stored in muscle tension. NSDR involves systematically scanning our body from head to toe and relaxing the muscles. I use my phone to listen to the guided NSDR meditation protocol using a freely available App. Moreover, Box Breathing significantly increases the effectiveness of NSDR. Box Breathing [2] involves repeatedly cycling through phases of breathing in, holding breath, breathing out, and holding breath, with each phase being about 4 seconds. I go a step further by taking deep breaths from my belly. Belly breathing stimulates the Vagus nerve [3], hence inducing relaxation.
3. Yes to Carbs and no to Protein for Dinner:
   I used to feel extreme sleepiness after lunch if I had more carbs. Therefore, I moved my carb intake to dinner time. Eating more carbs and less protein also tends to improve mood and reduce anxiety [4]. As Carb intake may be unhealthy right before bedtime, I moved up my dinner time to earlier in the evening

Final Thoughts

I have overcome the challenge of falling asleep through multiple iterations of routine adjustments and experimentation guided by research and personal observation. I know these techniques are working as I struggle to fall asleep when I miss doing any of them. I hope this is helpful to all of us who struggle to fall asleep.

References

[1] https://dexa.ai/huberman/episodes/doc_1954?sectionSid=sec_25042&chunkSid=chunk_50137
[2] https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-box-breathing
[3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/ease-anxiety-and-stress-take-a-belly-breather-2019042616521#:~:text=Belly%20breathing%20stimulates%20the%20vagus,pressure%20and%20lowering%20stress%20levels
[4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12034132/

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