How I overcame my deep-rooted dread of public speaking in one hour
All it took was baptism by fire
It is hard for me to overstate my profound fear of public speaking throughout my college years. I never raised my hand to ask a question or make a comment. My greatest fear was that a professor would point at me and demand that I answer a question. Mercifully, it happened only once during my B.A. studies at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. But I will never forget my panic at the moment that professor did just that, and my inability to say anything intelligible. I was petrified.
A few years later, I was invited to pursue my master’s degree in Near Eastern Studies at the University of Washington in Seattle with a generous scholarship. But there was a catch: In order to get that scholarship, I would have to teach an undergraduate class in Biblical Hebrew as a teaching assistant.
I had no worries about my ability to handle the language. Although I hadn’t pursued Biblical studies in college, I had grown up in Hebrew-speaking Israel. While my first language was German — my parents had escaped Nazi Germany and we spoke only German until I was 5 — I did all my pre-college studies in Hebrew, including daily Bible classes as part of my school’s curriculum. I was familiar with the Bible’s grammar and much of its vocabulary; after all, modern Hebrew heavily derives from Biblical Hebrew.
My fear focused on the teaching itself — on facing a class and speaking to students I had never met before. It didn’t help that I would have to do this in my third language — English — in which I had received poor grades in high school and had used only for reading textbooks in college.
My fear soared after I left Israel and arrived in Seattle. The prospect of teaching now became very real and very close.
At least, I soon realized that my concern about communicating in English was unfounded. I had no problem speaking with my wonderful host family in Seattle, and subsequently with my apartment mates at the university’s graduate student housing. But none of that allayed my fear of the impending start date of my teaching assignment.
As the weeks turned into days and then into hours until the appointed time for my first class, my anxiety grew by leaps and bounds. I was hardly able to sleep.
And finally, the moment had arrived. Suddenly I was facing a small class of about a dozen students who were waiting for me to begin. I remember looking at them with a sense of doom and wishing I were six feet under instead.
With a trembling voice, I started speaking. And then, a miracle happened! The students listened attentively, took notes, asked questions, and made comments. A two-way conversation flowed effortlessly.
I can’t even begin to describe the relief I felt. My greatest fear in life turned into a very pleasant experience. The spell was broken. My fear of public speaking was gone forever.
Public speaking became my stock in trade. During my pre-Ph.D. dissertation seminars at Princeton, I was an active — some would say, overactive — participant in the discussions. I then taught Middle Eastern studies at two universities in Hebrew and in English, and subsequently delivered hundreds of lectures on related topics to a variety of audiences in the United States, Israel, Europe, and even on a cruise ship. I was interviewed several times on television.
On all these occasions, I felt perfectly at ease, even when speaking without notes. But I’ve never forgotten the fear I felt before my first teaching experience, nor my immense relief when it went well.
The lesson I learned from this experience is known to many, but often hard to internalize and implement. The only way to overcome fear is to face it head on!
I will forever be grateful to the then-chairman of the University of Washington’s Near Eastern Studies department, who hired me as a teaching assistant. Thanks to him, I discovered, within one hour, muscles in my brain I hadn’t even known existed.
Had I not been afforded the opportunity to teach on the very first day of my graduate studies, I would have missed this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which enabled me to immeasurably enrich my life and build a fulfilling and gratifying career.
In short, don’t let fear prevent you from doing what you want to do. While obviously taking precautions to avoid needless mishaps, confront your fears head-on and live your life to the fullest!
