How Teaching Teenagers Increased My Self Confidence – A story with some helpful tips
Thank you high schoolers!
I am grateful to teenagers, the most judgmental creatures on earth, for helping me strengthen my self-confidence. By telling my story I’ll share some tips for self-esteem which I believe you can benefit from as well.
While looking confident or not may not be a big problem in some occupations, when it comes to teaching in high school, it is by far the most essential quality looked for in a teacher. Because being qualified, knowledgeable, skillful, or having a great lesson plan, etc. becomes all useless unless you look confident and be assertive in class.
I started teaching 6 years ago and prior to that, I was mostly conscious of myself and weak in terms of self-confidence. I know that If I hadn’t chosen the teaching path I would probably continue my life more or less the same, but I am glad that I did.
In the beginning, I suffered a lot. I was a 22-year-old student teacher in a leading private high school in my country. I was already insecure about myself and I was also unconfident about the job I was training, so every teaching hour gave me mild anxiety attacks beforehand and I would fear a lot.
Fear of what? Fear of standing in front of twenty teenagers looking at you judgementally, pushing you psychologically, and even mocking you behind your back. Besides those students were not ordinary. They all came from the richest families, traveled around the world, were academically excellent, and were all sports champions. I felt like I had nothing to give them.
I had to do something to overcome the confidence obstacle to my success as a teacher and build a career in a respected school. Those frightening moments gradually decreased as I stuck to these few points.
PREPARATION
Accept that it needs more preparation for you. Don’t let it deceive you that it looks effortless for other people. If you lack self-confidence you have to be better prepared for the situation. Whatever the situation that makes you feel the least confident, take your time to get prepared for it and get ready to work hard.
In my case, the veteran teachers whose classes I observed looked extremely confident all the time. Even when they didn’t have a proper lesson plan or engaging lesson materials their lessons would go very smoothly and students listened to every word they said.
Yet, I took a lot of time to get prepared for the class. I planned my lessons carefully and went over them many times, I considered the questions they could ask and prepared answers for them, I even planned my jokes and icebreakers. I also took my time to prepare my outfit to make sure that I looked good. Most importantly, I practiced my speech by writing down my instructions and everything.
Yes, I put a lot of effort just for one lesson but you know what, it worked! And the time I spent got less and less each time. It worked because through preparation I eliminated many things that gave me stress, and as I learned my speech by heart I looked more confident saying it.
This is something you can do too. Don’t underestimate the power of preparation, practice the situation beforehand.
EXPOSURE
The more you are exposed to environments in which you don’t feel confident the more confidence you will gain in time. This is how it works; as the stressing factor or situation gets more familiar it will lose its effect on you. If you are dedicated to increasing your self-confidence you just can’t run away from being exposed to it.
I volunteered for more teaching hours although I knew that meant tons of preparation work for me. Because I knew the painful road would take me to my comfortable teaching periods. That was just a period I had to endure. I feared and felt very insecure in front of rich judgy teenagers but if I wanted to be a teacher in the nicest schools, I had to build my confidence.
So I started spending more in-class and out-class time with students. I taught them, talked to them, listened to them, and sat with them. Again it worked! Because I turned the stressing factor into a more normal-familiar factor for me.
So next time don’t avoid your stressing factor. Stay more where you felt the least confident. This time can be when you are with the opposite gender, or when you are in a crowded place or in a business meeting, just don’t run away from it.
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
I don’t think there is anyone who hasn’t heard this tip at some point in their lives but did you know it really works?
Contrary to common belief human brain is not very powerful and can be manipulated easily. As long as manipulation comes intentionally and for good reasons that can turn out quite practical.
So start faking that you are fully confident about yourself and about the job you are doing. Look confident and be assertive when you talk. Simple as that. Remember, If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.
So, how are you gonna fake it? Here are some easy steps: Take a deep breath, slow your speech down, stand upright and stay tall, have a warm smile, give people small compliments, and believe that you have all it takes.
If things happen to go wrong and you find yourself in an argument with an inferior like students, stay cool, don’t over-explain yourself, and never argue for too long.
Eventually, I started staying strong and looking more confident, and after that point, it was like a ripple effect. They started giving me the attention I needed, and as I gained their trust and my lessons became more and more effective. Through this confidence, I thrived in my job.
Now in my sixth year, I see that I have come a very long way happily performing my job and much admired by all my students.
It is worth the effort.
If you are willing to work on your self-confidence and achieve your goals you may try out these three ways that worked out for me.
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