The Art of Conversation — 3 Golden Rules
An Analogy between Seesaw and Human Dialogue.
Ever wondered why having a proper conversation is effortful nowadays? Even sometimes the start of a seemingly smooth convo can turn into a heated debate.
Most of the time, it happens because of challenging perspective or contrasting experience from people.
Other times — the connection just doesn’t seem to match right from the get-go, despite how hard we maintain the flow of conversation with the other person.
In this article, I am using the analogy of Seesaw and how it reflects the ideal two-way communication that we can use to improve social interaction in real-life/online situations.
1. Reciprocity is Necessary
When you sit on a Seesaw, with a friend on the opposite end. Each of you will take turn moving up and down off/to the ground. When you go up into the air, your friend hits the ground. When your friend goes up, you go down.
The same technique is required when we communicate with others. We’re going to let people have turn to speak as well, and take time to listen to what they say. Never make it a one-way-street dialogue. Otherwise you risk losing the potential of a good talk with someone else.
2. Meeting People Halfway
When your friend asks you to slow down the speed of the Seesaw because it’s too fast and makes her feel uneasy. You will have to compromise and begin to lower the pace, even though you have no problem with it and in fact love the thrill of being at such speed.
The same goes when you like talking about Politics, but your friend finds the topic too heavy— and looks dang bored whenever you bring it up. You can find the middle ground and talk about something else, or find somebody else who shares a similar interest with you. Instead of keep insisting on talking about your favorite subject and risk destroying the mood of your friend.
3. Finding The Win-Win
Seesaw is not just about going to extremes. One time you’re being so up there (winning) and the next time you’re being so down there (losing). It is also about engagement, sharing the joy of the game with others.
So, when having a discussion and facing a roadblock because your viewpoint doesn’t align with someone. Don’t just look for the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and escalate the topic into an argument. Instead, you can look at the bigger picture and find mutual understanding that keeps you cool during difficult conversations with people.
Note: Please keep in mind that finding common ground doesn’t necessarily mean giving up our individuality and changing our voice. Freedom of speech applies equally to everyone and in that regard, we can agree to disagree while at the same time standing our ground.
Thank you for reading!
