How To Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Yourself?
Realize your self-worth and keep yourself on top of your priority list.
“Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of everything.” — Susannah Conway
During our first lecture on “Human Resource Management” in M.Phil. our professor asked one question, making everyone quiet. The question was, “what is the most important human resource?” Believe it or not, the class of twenty-one adults in the age bracket of 22 to 35 years old was quiet. I whispered in my friend’s ear, “it’s me, myself”. My friend is a gold medalist. However, she didn’t think my answer was correct, and I wasn’t confident enough to tell my answer to the professor.
He was surprised by our silence and some stupid answers. He repeated his question again and again while doubting our intelligence for the course. Finally, one of our classmates reluctantly spoke, “I think, for me, I am the most important human resource.” I said to myself, FINALLY….
Yes! It was the correct answer; in my opinion, it was the only answer to that question. However, out of twenty-one adults in the class, only two came up with this answer…. Do you know why? Because nineteen others in the class didn’t even think of themselves as a resource….This is the dilemma of our society…..
We spend our lives focusing on our relationships with others, and we are obsessed with the idea of being loved and respected by people around us. The only driving force behind almost every one of our actions is “how is it going to affect the people I care about?” However, while working on our relationships, we forget about one vital person in life, “Our Own Self”.
Our lives revolve around people; we want to please them, inspire them, motivate them, make them fall in love with us, respect us, and positively think about us. However, while going through all this hustle, we forget about our well-being. We exhaust ourselves for people; we fail to understand that “you can’t give someone something you don’t have”.
Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy and positive relationship with yourself:-
1. Prioritize Yourself:-
Remember the safety demo on flights?
“Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, stay calm and listen for instructions from the cabin crew. Oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat. Place the mask over your mouth and nose. If you are traveling with children or someone who needs your assistance, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping them.”
Remind yourself that you need to breathe properly to help others. Prioritize your own health, peace and comfort. Don’t overindulge in anything; never exhaust yourself for the sake of others.
There is a thin line between prioritizing yourself and being selfish. Watch that line and keep going.
2. Set Boundaries:-
“I set boundaries not to offend you but to respect myself — Unknown”
It is essential to set boundaries in all kinds of relationships, professional or personal. DO NOT; I repeat, DO NOT let anyone cross those boundaries. Do not compromise your boundaries for anyone. Create your own space. Define rules and do not let anyone overstep.
If you think you may lose your friends because of your boundaries, give up on them already. True friends respect each other’s space, and they never overstep. I believe you can find true friends only after defining your boundaries and respecting theirs. That’s how you know that they are not with you for their personal interests only.
3. Find Your Me Time:-
“Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear mine — Oprah”
I know life is busy, robotic, chaotic, and too fast, and it is hard to find time for your loved ones, let alone for yourself. But trust me, those 15 minutes a day you take out for yourself will make a massive impact on your overall well-being.
Do some exercise, enjoy your favorite song, go for a long drive, stare at the sky, count the stars, smell some flowers, and sit in the dark while absorbing the silence. Do anything you like, and you will return to the world with a fresh perspective.
Your “Me time” gives you the strength to deal with the world.
4. Engage in Positive Self-Talk:-
Research shows that positive self-talk can: improve self-esteem, stress management and wellbeing. reduce any symptoms of depression, anxiety and personality disorders. improve your body image and can help treat people with eating disorders.
We all have a mean voice in our heads. This voice keeps telling us the things we lack. It highlights our weaknesses and completely hides our strengths. Whenever this mean voice in your head starts to take over, remind yourself of your worth, the good you have. Shut this mean voice and talk positively about yourself.
Relive those precious moments of your life when you are stressed. Appreciate your efforts, and acknowledge your achievements. Do not always look around for the appreciation you need. Tap your own shoulder and enjoy your journey.
You have come a long way; not everyone can make it this far.
5. Do Not Compare Your Life With Others:-
“Do not compare yourself with others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it’s their time.” — The Power of Misfits
All of us are fighting our own demons. We have different goals, and our journeys towards those goals may be similar but not the same.
Variety is the spice of life. Imagine we all were the same, going in the same direction, having the same tastes, wearing the same clothes, pursuing the same profession, all in the same position and place in life. What’s the fun in that?
Remember!! None of us has it all. Everyone is fighting for something, craving something, and running after something. Make peace with your situation, and fight your battles your way.
Admire the journeys of others, and learn from their mistakes. But never let the comparison affect your own peace.
