I Spent the Day with Me

We don’t do this… ever.

Photo by Author

I spent the day with me. Just me.

I picked each thing I did, not a moment of which included applying for jobs. The daily routine I am shackled to.

I’d applied to 13 jobs already; I figured I could take a pass.

Though, in those moments when I was stuck. Uncomfortable with myself, the silence, and being in silence with myself. In those moments, my gaze did drift to my “office,” and briefly, I would consider writing cover letter after cover letter.

I didn’t.

Plus. My therapist says I need to like myself. Do things with me, like take myself to lunch.

It was me, myself, and I day

I didn’t plan for it to be me day. It kind of just happened.

I knew I was going to trade in my time at the home gym for some much-needed yard work. After that, I saw opportunities to do something different.

It felt like it could have been my birthday.

Maybe it was therapy the day before that pushed me outside of my box. Maybe it was something else. Either way, I stepped outside of my box.

I hung out with myself and called all the shots on what we did.

An outdoor workout

I enjoy yard work.

I like being outside. I love seeing the results of what I did. I like feeling strong and powerful.

I like singing, terribly, louder than the neighbors would like.

And, honestly, I like the space to get annoyed about the little things. About having to wait 60 seconds for the lawn mower to start again after spewing rocks.

The weather was warm and perfect for yard work, for being outside.

The warmth of the outdoors and the workout I endured left me wanting to jump in a sprinkler more than anything. It was too early for that though, the sun wasn’t over the house yet.

The weather was perfect, all-day

Photo by Author

I’ve missed out on opportunities to enjoy time outside or had subpar experiences. It is hot under the direct rays of the sun. Reading after all the applications are submitted is the same as being a rotisserie chicken in the grocery store. I bake and sweat.

Not this day.

This day slipped onto the deck, opened a book, and got lost in a story when I would usually be clicking keys and hoping to find my next job. It was too perfect to pass on the opportunity to read outside. The sun hadn’t crossed over the roof of the house and the temperature was still cool.

That wasn’t the only choice I made

That sprinkler, finally the hours of the day passed, and the sun peaked over the top of the house into the backyard. It was finally time to use my pineapple sprinkler.

The $3 Target sprinkler was put to the test and it passed. That thing works.

I wasn’t sure what I expected of the sprinkler or what I would do with it. I got it to go with my kiddie pool.

I mostly just loved that it was a pineapple.

On this day I decided I wanted an amazing picture of me jumping through the sprinkler. I got it.

It was fun. A lot of fun.

I didn’t care that I was this 33-year-old jumping through a sprinkler, alone, in my backyard.

I just jumped and jumped. I jumped until the freshly mowed backyard became a pit of mud, a recipe for disaster, and my feet left skid marks each time I landed on the ground.

I stood and let the sprinkler twist and wrap around me.

Photo by Author

A smile stretched across my face as the sun kissed my head.

I did it. I played in the sprinkler by myself. Alone. And I had a really good time.

As the day grew old there were only so many decisions left to make

While the sun baked the deck I curled up inside and flipped the final pages of the book.

Then with a few minutes of sun left to spare, before it was tucked away, I decided to be here. Outside. Scribbling this down, enjoying the peaceful evening with me.

I made the decisions

Making decisions isn’t my thing, nor is spending time with myself. This day was outside of my comfort zone. But it was also one of the best days.

I made decisions that left smiles on my face.

I spent some time with myself and it wasn’t so bad.

Small decisions are to be celebrated. They are practice for the big decisions to come. This day I practiced and practiced, and I succeeded.

I decided not to apply for jobs.

I chose to skip taking a walk or swinging on the swings.

I decided that after three months it was time to embrace my inner child and use the sprinkler I have been so excited about.

I decided to spend some time with myself and I actually enjoyed it.