International Women’s Day: Happy or Broken?

I am writing this to all women who are going through heartbreak today. Kindly feel and accept my love.

Photo by Joeyy Lee

Life creates the greatest women by breaking them first. The ones with the widest smile, the most loving, most understanding, and most caring have a story of being shattered. People closed their books while they were still writing their stories. They have been left deeply wounded and with holes in their hearts.

Are you lucky today?

It’s international women’s day but to Jane it’s just March 8th. She is sitting on a hospital bed waiting to have a double mastectomy. She has maintained a healthy lifestyle by eating well, exercising, praying, and meditating but cancer still chose her.

Katie has just woken up on a hospital bed. She doesn’t know how she got there but the last thing she remembers was her menstrual cramps causing her immense pain. She has endometriosis.

Janet is attending a meeting at work. She didn’t hear a question directed to her by her boss because she is not mentally present. She is occupied by the divorce papers she is meant to sign today. Her family is broken, after twelve years of marriage. She doesn’t know how she will raise her two sons single handedly.

Karen is preparing dinner for her son Sean. It’s the third time he has escaped rehab in two months. The doctor says his drug problem could give him permanent mental illness if left untreated. Overlooking this, Karen is happy that he is alive, and he is home safe, for now.

Cecilia has just received a regret email. Her interview was unsuccessful, and they selected another candidate. It has been five years since she graduated with an aeronautical engineering degree and is yet to find a job.

Paula’s tears are flowing freely as she walks down the street. She is just from the clinic and the results indicate that the IVF procedure failed. It was her eighth IVF attempt since doctors’ ruled out her possibility of natural conception.

I am able to write this article because I have gone through a lot of heartbreaking situations by virtue of being a woman.

I was sad for long enough until I realized that all was not lost. I was not broken. I just was cracked wide enough to allow the rays of light to shine through and light the way for other women.

How to cope with heartbreak

Don’t force yourself to get over it — It’s okay to cry, to feel sad or to totally shun away for a moment. Allow yourself to feel the emotions as they come. Just be gentle to yourself and remember, it also helps to talk to someone.

Meditate — Take about 20 minutes to sit quietly and watch your thoughts. Be very present in the moment and allow all the negative thoughts to flow away. If it’s hard to do this, meditate by concentrating on your breathing.

Get the energy out — Find a place where you are alone and scream or yell all the sadness out. If it helps run with your headphones on playing your favourite music. You can also punch a bag (kickboxing). Be consistent with these activities, especially the physical ones.

Accept and Forgive — I have struggled with forgiving people for ages until I discovered that forgiveness doesn’t free the other person, it frees you. Accept that all the things that didn’t work out were not meant to be part of your journey. They were not good for your life story.

Appreciate the beauty of life — There is too much to be grateful for only if we choose to see it. With Covid-19, I realized how expensive oxygen is. Don’t take the ability to breathe and see a new day for granted. There is always the brighter side of everything. Choose to see it.

Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars. — Violeta Parra.

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