Why I Don't Drink?
I tasted my first drop of alcohol at the age of 5 and decided not to touch alcohol for the rest of my life at the age of 22. Here’s how it went.
5 years old and the not-so-good first drop of wine
When I was a child, I wondered why the people around me loved drinking so much. They drink every day and seem overjoyed every time drinking.
What kind of magic does alcohol hide?
I decided to explore for myself.
One day I visited my neighbor’s house and saw him drinking alone, and I knew my time had come. He’s a young man in his 20s, living with his father and little sister in a small house, I liked to play with them since I’m an only child. I asked him to let me try the rice wine in his hand, and he actually agreed. Taking a look at the glass in my hand, I was so excited, thought that I was about to enjoy the most delicious drink in the world.
Unexpectedly, when I drank the first drop of wine, I just wanted to spit it out. But I had to fight myself, so as not to offend my neighbor.
“My God! Is this for people to drink?”
The bitter taste and disgusting aroma of the first drop of wine are unforgettable for a lifetime.
Why do people keep drinking such a bad thing?
13 years old, knows what it is to be drunk.
Although I have known the taste of alcohol for a long time, I have never experienced the feeling of being drunk. I only see the protagonists on TV, and when those characters get drunk, they do things that they would not normally dare to do.
“So being drunk is supposed to be a courageous state, right?”
That night, I came to the neighbor’s house to play. This time, my neighbor is a single mom with two daughters the same age as me. For some reason, perhaps due to the right time and place, several of us felt that the atmosphere would be better with a little alcohol (I have to note that, my neighbor is very nice, and she let us drink because we begged her).
I can’t love wine, but I find its relative, beer, less offensive and even refreshing. I remember finishing a can of beer and not being able to keep myself going. So, I excused myself by saying I needed to use the bathroom. My house is just across from them, it’s just a few steps away. But it was very difficult for me to go home at that time. I went back slowly, step by step, otherwise, I felt that the route would be crooked (I was worried that they would laugh at me). However, the scene in front of me has also become blurred. At this point, I knew the alcohol was working in my body.
“It turns out that this is the feeling of being drunk, it’s so uncomfortable!”
When I got home, I immediately went to the toilet and vomited out everything I ate and drank at night. Then, I climbed the stairs (literally “climbed”) back to my room. Once in bed, I fell asleep immediately.
How can I explain this process so clearly? Because my mind is still clear at this time. Although I can’t control my body’s reaction, I still remember what I did. It’s hard for me to believe that people can forget everything when they’re drunk, even the things that routinely keep them from doing something. If we are so drunk that we don’t remember anything, then we may not be able to control our body and drive it to do things for us.
Alcohol does not give people courage. The reason why people are so bold after drinking is because they think they can hide under the umbrella of “drunkenness” and resonate with people around them. “But I’m drunk” seems to be just an excuse.
That’s the conscious side, about the physical sensations, I have to say I hate the feeling of being drunk. In my opinion, it is tantamount to motion sickness and seasickness. However, the necessity of the two appears to be different. Due to the need to move, suffering from motion sickness is a last resort. But drunk? I definitely can choose to get drunk or not. And I think it's good to spend your days in good spirits, why torture yourself?
Such an uncomfortable feeling—why do people become addicted?
At 18, I made up with alcohol for the first time.
To celebrate my friend’s 19th birthday, some good friends and I decided to go to the beach to play. Neither of us likes to drink, but because it was a rare opportunity for everyone to be together, and it was a friend’s birthday, we bought a few bottles of apple cider and drank them in the hotel.
I found the cider flavor to be okay; moreover, it has very low alcohol. It’s also good to have a drink to make the atmosphere different from every day. But after I drank one bottle, I started to feel that something was wrong, so I only drank half of the second bottle and went back to my room.
I learned a lesson back when I was 13, and this time said “Not on my watch”. I wasn’t drunk, throwing up, or reacting in any way. In bed, I slept straight into the morning.
I have lived for more than 20 years, and as far back as I can remember, I haven’t had many good nights of sleep. But that day was one of the best nights of sleep in my life, and I woke up in the morning feeling energized. That day, I felt that my body belonged to an 18-year-old teenager.
At that time, I didn’t know why I slept so well, but I found out later that it was because I drank cider. It turns out that not all alcoholic things are bad to drink, nor does drinking lead to bad results. As long as we choose the taste that suits us and know how to control the amount of alcohol, it will be fine.
However, not many people think so. In other words, only a non-drinker like me would think so. Once drunk, who knows how to measure it? I see a lot of people who, when they are drunk, try to make themselves spit out or find a quiet place to rest, and then drink wildly when they recover. This act of self-sabotage is incomprehensible to me.
Why do people do such harmful behaviors regardless of everything?
22 years old, a sudden realization
22 years old, I have studied abroad for almost three years. Everything is going well. Fortunately, the epidemic has not changed my life too much. However, my worrying nature made me have to face many mental difficulties. When I first entered college, I couldn’t adapt to the new environment. Everything about me changed instantly, whether it was academics, work, or life. Sometimes I can’t stand myself, “Why do I have to think so much?”. So, I had a plan in my head to buy some fruit beer and drink it so that I could sleep well.
It was at that moment that I suddenly understood why people drink alcohol so often. Perhaps the power of alcohol lies in its ability to make people forget. I finally found that every second of forgetting is worth the effort to exchange. It turns out that people want to forget, whether it is the present, their life, or even themselves. But haven’t I experienced it myself before that getting drunk doesn’t make people lose consciousness unless they’re already drunk to the point of unconsciousness? So what is hidden behind the actions of those who seek alcohol?
Perhaps, it’s not that they don’t know that alcohol can’t make them forget everything around them completely, they just need that “forgetting” feeling. Because then, their mind needs to be busy paying attention to the bodily reactions that the intoxication brings.
Those people, either think too much or don’t think at all. Either their life changes, or it stays the same every day. Life went on as usual, nothing was left for them. And they passed through the world leaving no meaning for life. The most frightening thing is not change, but endless repetition. Drinking may be used as a sign to make today different from yesterday.
“Men are afraid of nothing but the way they see themselves”, the Greek philosopher – Epictetus said long ago.
I feel that as long as I drink a drop of wine at that time, my inner world would change. Something, probably self-respect, would go away. Because I was too weak, I had to rely on an outside force to overcome myself. But is it worth it? Alcohol takes my sanity away for a while, then gives it back to me. However, I think it will lead me down a more terrifying path, where it’s easier for me to let myself go so I don’t have to face reality. What I need to move on in this life is not a temporary tool but a method that makes it possible for me to keep my mind up no matter what.
From asking why people drink to learning about the consequences of alcohol use and the causes of drinking, it was a long trip for me. However, I am the kind of person who, even if everyone else was doing it, wouldn’t do it until I could justify it. On that day, when I was 22, I decided that I would never touch alcohol again.
