My Personal Experience With Insomnia, The One Thing That Worked
Insomnia is horrible and everyone knows the common sense fixes. I beat it. Let me tell you what really worked.
What do you get when you look up ‘how to get a good night’s sleep’? The internet is a great tool but it’s chock full of boring and generic advice when you search for something like that. Why? It’s mainly because the root cause of the problem is unique to everyone so as a catch-all, these tips all work.
The most common tips are as follows:
- Sleep routine — ‘Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This helps regulate your body’s internal clock, making it easier to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning. Aim for at least 7–8 hours of sleep per night.’ Yes, we’re all incredibly disciplined and we’re robots that get powered on and off at the same time every day on a timer... Good to aim for but same time on weekends? Fat chance.
- Create a sleep-conducive environment — ‘Creating a comfortable sleep environment can also improve your chances of getting a good night’s rest. Your bedroom should be cool, quiet, and dark. Consider investing in blackout curtains or a white noise machine if outside noise or light is a problem.’ Chances are you do that already… who sleeps with the light on anyway. Also yeah good luck minimising noise, don’t forget to also get a 200% pay rise and move to a detached stone house in the suburbs.
- Avoid stimulants — ‘Stimulants like caffeine and nicotine can interfere with your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.’ Bet you didn’t consider that did you? Did you know the big can of Redbull you drink before bed might be keeping you awake? It may be hard to tell but I’m definitely being sarcastic here.
The list of generic advice goes on and on… I beat insomnia 5 years ago. Now, let me tell you what getting a good night’s sleep is really about.
Mindset is #1
Having suffered from insomnia, especially when I was younger during exam times, I would go nights and nights without decent sleep. The worst episodes were when I would literally stay awake all night or until 5–6 am. By then, you only have a few hours left anyway and one look at the clock left me stressing and panicking again.
The number 1 biggest and most impactful change I made was my mindset about the whole thing. Looking back, I guess it was a form of self-administered cognitive behavioural therapy. So maybe the answer is actually CBT. Nonetheless, you can try it yourself.
The common theme if you read on is acceptance.
What worked for me was the following…
Accept That You May Not Get Any Sleep Tonight
Is it really that big of a deal? You’re not going to die. You might feel tired but what are the consequences? You’ll be okay the next day and eventually your body will give up and you’ll be able to sleep. There are no two ways around it. Our physiology just won’t allow us to kill ourselves with lack of sleep, it’s impossible.
Your body just won’t let you go without sleep for too long. It needs it to function and to recuperate. Trust me. With or without insomnia, try to stay awake for more than 2 days, it’s nearly impossible. The world record is 11 days but obviously, the guy who did it went to extremes to stay awake. Remember, you’re trying to sleep so you’re not even going to be able to do that. It just won’t happen.
Reframe It
Going off of the theme of acceptance. Reframe the fact that you can’t get any kip as an opportunity. By all means, try to sleep. If it isn’t happening and you’ve been lying there for an hour, then do something else. This is when one of the conventional tips that do actually help. Go read a book, and do something creative as long as you’re not staring at a computer screen or stimulating yourself with video games. You might be able to learn a new skill by reading something useful or it may be enjoyable to immerse yourself in a fairytale. Whatever you want… as long as it’s not outright stimulating. I would advise going to the gym say.
Reframe the horrible feeling of not going to sleep as ‘rest’. Just lie there, maybe even try to meditate but see it as an opportunity to rest your body physically. Your mind might be racing but no matter what, sleep or not, this is a chance for you to rest your body, rest your muscles and just simply, RELAX. Sleep may come, it may not, doesn’t matter. JUST RELAX.
The World Is Asleep. No One Is Going To Bother You
The beauty of the ‘graveyard shift’ i.e. midnight to 8 am is that absolutely no one is going to bother you. You could even make better use of this by putting your phone in flight mode and just don’t get on your computer. Don’t surf the web. Do things that are ‘offline’ such as read a book or play some solitaire by yourself.
The early hours of the morning are a wonderful time when you can be left alone. I’m not saying you should look forward to it but stop and think, you’re lying there in your bed, yes you can’t sleep, but is it really that bad? Enjoy the peace. Once the acceptance kicks in, you might even get bored and fall asleep anyway.
Don’t Forget The Basics and Do What You Can. The Rest is Beyond Your Control
Another key to accepting your circumstances is knowing that you have done all you can. Don’t forget the basics and the generic tips provided by the internet on how to get a good night’s sleep because they aren’t inherently wrong. Once you’ve done all of them though such as putting yourself to bed at 10:30 am, cutting out stimulants, blacking out your curtains, putting your earplugs in and drinking some herbal lavender tea, you’ve really done all you can.
Anything that happens after that is beyond your control. All you can do is try. That is part of acceptance. A good course of action I advise you to try is what I mentioned above. If you’ve exhausted everything to get you to sleep, do the following:
- Lie down as if you are going to sleep. Do everything as you would.
- Think of 3 priorities for the work/study day tomorrow then cast them aside. Now that this is done, it is YOUR time.
- Feel your body, think how wonderful it feels to rest your bones, your muscles, and your feet. Just enjoy the feeling. You’ve had a long day, whether at the office or at a manual job.
- Still awake? Do something you enjoy (that is not stimulating). Maybe take out a book or read a magazine. Don’t turn on the main lights, keep them dim.
- Still awake? Tell yourself the following, “at this stage, I probably won’t sleep and you know what? It is completely, absolutely and 100% fine with me.” “I don’t need it and when my body is tired enough I will sleep, I just have to, there are no two ways around it”.
- Just repeat and remember, this is your RELAX time. No work allowed.
- If morning comes god forbid, then whatever, try again tomorrow at the same time. Don’t have a nap. Remember those generic tips? Keep your sleep schedule.
- Lastly, remember it’s not a big deal. You will sleep eventually and not when you’re dead, please don’t take that the wrong way.
