Optimistic Attitudes for Continuous Progress
Realistic positive attitudes toward past, present, and future events that make it easier to persevere through difficulty
We must discipline our thoughts and attitudes to continue making constructive progress despite failures and setbacks. The following saying by the Stoics underscores the importance of attitude.
What frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but how we think about them. It is not the things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance — Epictetus
The above made me realize that attitudes toward setbacks and failures can drive us closer to our goals, not out of fear but enthusiasm. Here, I will discuss how our attitudes toward the past, present, and future make them opportunities in disguise.
The Past
Past failures are always uncomfortable. We naturally bring the past suffering to the present in the form of regret. This reactive evolutionary mechanism helps build up aversive memory to prevent the same situation again. It is well-known that we must use the past as a teacher and apply its lessons in the future based on understanding and analysis. This requires us to detach from the past enough to allow us to see it more analytically. The reality here is that …
we always get what we deserve
Whatever happened in the past is the most obvious given the past situation. The combination of the fact that we cannot grasp all the possible causes and we are biased by prior beliefs leads to harsh interpretations of events. It does not matter whether someone became rich through hard work or just won the lottery, they deserve it. The laws of physics dictate that we are part of the universe (including the neural connections in our brains) that interact with each other through the law of chaotic causality. One change causes another in an intricate sequence of cause and effect, where an innocuous change can magnify over time. It is impossible to control and determine all that can influence the outcome. For example, our catastrophic overestimation of our ability may have been due to earlier events like too much popularity and praise from others or a genetic bias towards being overconfident. Whatever the reason, the past would not have happened differently.
This attitude detaches us from the past by reducing unproductive emotions like envy; a friend won the lottery. They deserved it this time even though they did not work for it, and frustration; bad things happen to me even when I work to prevent them because I deserve them. There is no need to regret making bad decisions as we deserve to make the decision and face the subsequent consequences.
This attitude fast tracks us towards acceptance of the past, after which learning can start. The belief that we always deserve the consequences, good or bad, naturally leads to ownership and responsibility for learning as we seek to find what we don’t know.
Knowing that you don’t know is the first step of knowing. — from the movie Synecdoche, New York
The Future
Even though we deserve what we get from the past, the past may or may not be the same as the future, depending on how we act.
Given the present situation and opportunities to learn from the past, you have a choice whether to make the future better or worse than the past. The reality is …
Every situation has opportunities to make meaningful progress toward our goals
We need to pick the path towards the constructive. This is the dichotomy of outcome versus process. Focusing on and believing in the process of constructively moving toward your goals in all situations is better than being pushed forward by the fear of failing to reach your goal, thus helping us see the experience as a resource for learning to apply in the future. Moreover, it also motivates us to act as we know there is always a path taking us closer to success in every situation. It kindles an optimistic attitude toward the future, thus mitigating fear and resistance to progress.
The Present
The Present, as the word implies, is a present (or gift) of control from the universe where we can control our attitude towards the past and future and act constructively. Of course, the present may require work that may be difficult and entail some amount of suffering.
All success starts with suck.
Even if taking action is uncomfortable, it is easier to embrace suffering because we see both the past and the future as opportunities. In the past, we saw opportunities to mine the golden nuggets of learning and gain insight. In the future, we see opportunities to apply this learning to move forward more effectively. This gives a purpose to suffering related to making progress in the best possible fashion through deliberate action based on analysis.
Final Thoughts
Reality is not necessarily harsh because the universe is indifferent. The interpretation by our mind makes it so. But it can also make it a driving force towards our goals. The above reality-based perspectives presented here prevent us from falling into regressive mental traps and make it easier to progress in difficult situations. After all, with a disciplined attitude, encounters with truth and reality enhance our progress.
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