Re-establishing The Rules of Communication.

Have you ever thought about what makes a conversation a Conversation? Or are you just talking still no one is listening?

We talk a lot. Honestly, I am one of the persons who would really “love” to get you talking! But I am not going to talk some stupid, whichever topic comes inside my brain. Even though I would love to share my life with all around me, I am smart enough to know that whatever ‘I’ may be interested in talking about, other people might or might not be interested in hearing anything about it at all. So when I talk to people I don’t know much about, I try and talk about their interests and not mine. Through other people’s interests, they become engaged in sharing their opinions about a lot of things that seem relevant in their lives. You will absorb these ideas and talk further about how they came to see these things in their manner. It opens them more and makes them more comfortable while talking to you.

We have all seen moments where we become so impulsive to say some things. In a friend’s circle or a group, we are all ready to embarrass one friend. We all pit one joke or another against anybody. We only feel satisfied once we’re done with the joke. We may hurt their feelings or self-respect but we can’t resist the impulse to say that statement — which may lead to a decline of the trust factor in your relationship. In these moments, I realize that it’s our ‘ego’ speaking rather than ourselves. Ego is a strong emotion. It manipulates us into talking only about ourselves in a conversation — our interests, ideas, and thoughts. The higher your ego, the more inclined you are towards speaking about yourself and not listening to the other party. It is very rarely notified to us how important is that we should ‘listen’. Every communication in this world comprises of two actions — speaking and listening. During a conversation, both these actions are to be very active. It is as important for you to listen as for you to speak.

An example,
When you talk to a co-worker, after saying ‘hi’ to him, you should ask him: what are his tasks ? how does he accomplish those tasks? what problems does he face? and continue discussing things that seem important to ‘him’. You will see that he becomes open and more comfortable sharing with you the things that mean a deal to him. Things which he can express his joy/sorrow upon and has knowledge and wisdom to share with you.