Respect Is Not a Reflex
What I learned from Community’s Jeff Winger.
Dan Harmon’s Community is one of my tops, riding alongside the wit and universal appeal of Seinfeld and HIMYM.
My favorite character (besides Abed and the Dean) is the beloved Jeff Winger — an intriguing mix of traits that’d attract any viewer. He’s the perfect balance of picaresque and self-awareness.
Season 2, Episode 1 is a solid example. If you haven’t seen Community, it’s a sitcom about a community college study group.
Jeff Winger, a 30-something care-free former lawyer, is the de facto leader of the group, and ends up sleeping with Britta, one of the group’s core members, before kissing Annie, another study group member whose age (20) makes Jeff look like quite the creep to his peers. Not to mention him two-timing a quarter of his study group.
When the group finds out, they split up — until Jeff gives an apologetic speech worthy of roaring applause in the middle of their Anthropology class:
The reason I know respect is a tool is because it is clearly not a natural thing, and we forget to use it all the time; and then we start competing with each other, exploiting each other, humiliating each other, controlling each other — and we lose each other.
And without each other, we’ll go extinct.
Then Betty White wrings his neck with some archaic weaponry. It’s really a must-see episode.
Jeff’s point: respect may be expected, but it’s no reflex. It’s not inherent. We humans aren’t naturally respectful despite us thinking people should “be that way.”
I’m from Orange County, CA. A vampiric hub for vanity where parents tell their kids to judge books by their covers. Disrespect is the default in that God-forsaken bubble, cliquey and rejecting of the slightest dissimilarity, be it a round jawline or lower tax bracket. So this quote hit home for me.
Respect is essential, but not easy to employ 100% of the time. Our own priorities tend to get in the way. Such as Winger’s priority of kissing any pretty girl who leans in an inch.
Mind. Blown. Another example of Harmon’s balanced writing style, despite his chaotic drunkenness.
From transgression to reflection and a moment of clarity for a character who seemingly couldn’t care less, Harmon teaches us that although we expect respect, it’s never assured. True respect takes conscious effort and consideration of the other over ourselves.
Making choices that keep others out of harm’s way, instead of settling for our sole gratification.
Ergo — respect isn’t a reflex, but a muscle that takes work in order to conduct healthy, mutually respecting relationships. We love a good sitcom takeaway.
#sixseasonsandamovie
