So You Stopped Writing (It Happens). Now It’s Time To Try Again.
There’s one voice telling you: DON’T DO IT. But there’s another voice beneath that saying: I’m here. Let’s try.
There is every reason Not To…
Not to write.
Not to share.
Not to do that thing that some part of you wants to do but every other part is saying no no, not right now and why would you do that and later, okay?
Except the later doesn’t come, it’s been months, did you notice? Months passed and every day that little voice that says, well maybe today we can try, that voice becomes quieter and forgetful and disheartened, and the Reasons-Not-To are loud and insistent.
So you don’t.
You stop with the writing, at least the writing online, and you stop writing for yourself too (it’s indulgent, it’s mediocre, it’s a ‘nice thing to do if you have the time,’ but you don’t have the time, life is busybusybusy and you have fallen so far behind).
You stop reading all of the articles on How To Make $9345845897 online writing, which is a relief because, to be honest, those articles mostly fed the voice that said I’m not doing it right and I can’t and panicpanic about money!, you have enough voices in your mind telling you that you aren’t doing it right and that you Can’t and there is a fucking chorus in the background telling you to panic about money, telling you that you are failing and have failed and ALERT!, like a spastic internal alarm going off at every other noise, and maybe those voices don’t have anything to do with those money articles, and some of those tips are helpful to be honest, but (how long is this sentence? Too long. Let’s pause. Okay).
So you stopped. You didn’t write for a while. Now what?
You’re here now, aren’t you? (Here now, HereNow, Be Here, NOW!)
What’s true now?
- It’s sunny outside.
- It’s a new day.
- You’re looking at the computer screen, your hands are on the keyboard, and they want to move.
So you let them.
It can be that simple.
(‘Simple’ is a misleading word, you think if it is simple that means it should be ‘easy,’ and most of the time that is simply not true.)
It isn’t easy. It is the hardest thing, to sit down and try to say something in words, and harder still to release them into the world.
Let’s try, says one voice, louder than before.
Just try. Just see what happens.
* * *
(And so I did. I tried. And here, after months away, is what emerged in these 25 minutes).