So You’re In A Funk?
Here’s how I’m getting out of mine.
This isn’t the first time I’ve found myself in a funk. After many years of pouring my soul into a high-flying career, I’ve finally landed. Landed in a bit of a heap, it turns out, but that isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes landing in a heap is necessary to jumpstart your life with the flavour and direction that suits you. Not the ‘you’ from ten years ago, but the ‘you’ that is here now. We live many lifetimes within our one human life.
I do not claim myself to be an expert in this, but given that I’m going through the process of ‘getting out of the funk,’ I thought I would share my experience with you. I hope it is helpful.
1. Introspect
So you’re in a funk. Welcome! The most sensible place to start seems to be reflection and introspection. How did you get here? What happened? Did you see it coming? There are different ways of contemplating — talking, therapy, writing, drawing, singing, and dancing. Whatever medium suits you, use it. Catharsis is important, and it gives you perspective. It helps create a distance between the story and you as you are, right here and now.
2. Learn
Learn what you can from it. More likely than not, there are going to be lots of juicy life lessons for you to get stuck in. It just so happens that nothing in life, no matter how wonderful or terrible, is entirely good or bad. The chances are that some good has come out of the story you have lived. Given that you are where you are now, those lessons are crucial ones for you to understand at this point in your life. After all, it’s what got you to where you are.
3. Let it go
Once you have learned what you can, let it go. The story is simply that- a story. It’s not your story anymore and only defines you as much as you choose to let it. Our beings and our lives are dynamic. Live lightly and ease some of the weight on your shoulders by choosing to leave behind whatever no longer serves you. Do what you need to write the story on toilet paper and flush it away, practice visualisations…whatever it takes to leave the story behind.
4. Get help
None of this easy to do by yourself. We weren’t meant to face life alone, and when we try to, we usually fail. Enlisting the support of a friend, relative, or therapist gives you the emotional support and perspective that you need. We all have different experiences in life, so why not share the load and the wisdom that comes with it? Help doesn’t only have to come from people. There are only a million (or so) books, podcasts, apps, and YouTube channels dedicated to self-improvement and growth. Dive in, find what suits you, and take it all in.
5. Practice kindness, gratitude, and patience
Everything starts with you. You’ve been through a rough time, and you may have had to confront aspects of yourself that are less palatable. Ultimately, you’ve got to be your biggest cheerleader. If you’re not, then make this your number one priority. Compassion and acceptance must start with ourselves, and only then can it flow out to others. This might mean becoming friends with the berating voice in your head or the scared and lonely child within you. Giving comfort and love to the parts of ourselves that need them the most enables us to see them for what they are- ways of protecting ourselves that no longer serve us. They don’t have to define or consume us.
Life keeps giving us opportunities to learn- and we will be in the same cycle until that lesson is learned and the habit is broken. Be grateful for the opportunity that life has given you and whatever other good has come out of the experience. My funk brought me closer to my home and family, forced me to address my physical and mental health, and has given me the time to know myself better. I can now re-evaluate and redirect my life. What has life given you that you can be grateful for?
Getting out of the funk takes time. It takes consistent effort and faith in yourself that you can do this. Change doesn’t happen overnight, so go easy on yourself and lean into the uncertainty that comes with the process, rather than feeling stressed that it hasn’t all worked out already.
Life is as everchanging as the ocean, so embracing opportunities for growth with open arms helps to surf the waves of change. Even if you make it to shore, it won’t be long before you paddle back out to meet the next wave.
6. Listen and love
One of the biggest life lessons that I have come to face is to learn to listen to myself. That teaching has evaded me for most of my life; I suppose I simply wasn’t ready to accept it. Listening to what’s in my heart is something that I am still learning to do. The feelings of the heart have been dismissed for so long that it takes time to become attuned to them. To listen and feel, I have been forced to slow down and be still. Stillness gives rise to the truth. The truth isn’t always easy to face, but that is where we have to start. And remember, be kind.
Listening isn’t enough, however. I need to be able to trust my own intuition enough so that I stop doing what should be done and do what feels faithful, authentic, and honest to myself. I don’t believe there is a greater act of love you can give yourself than that. Most of us are on this journey, and I am still very much on it.
So how do you learn to listen to yourself and honour what your heart tells you? I meditate and read on the subject. I aim to be mindful so that in the small everyday occurrences in life where I am given a choice of which path to take, I gradually practice and create the habit of listening and being true to myself. Ultimately, the effort and choice have to come from you. What happens when I fail? I let it go; remember to be kind and start over. There’s no way around it.
7. Be brave
Eventually, you’re going to have to take a leap. Cultivating kindness, patience, gratitude, and peace gives rise to a more positive way of seeing and receiving the world. Opportunities will open up, and you will be in a better place to grab them when they present themselves to you. If you stay in your funk too long, you might start to sink a bit too deep. It might take a leap of faith and effort to extricate yourself out of the mud and start to gingerly test out walking on solid ground again. Every step is a victory and should be celebrated.
At the end of the day, it all seems to be part of a messy and winding journey. We need goals to keep moving but not become so fixated on the goal that we become blind to the storms and blizzards we may be weathering without the proper preparation or protection. Our destinations will change with time. We learn to recognise the fragility of every experience and the beauty that comes with it.
We start to see the mind and it’s thoughts for what they are- a hotch potch of shooting stars, gone as quickly as they appear- and observe our feelings to change course as freely as the wind. Through it all we can choose to be the sky, watching with a kindly benevolence as life unfolds.
Enjoy the journey.
