Take One Breath to Gain Control
Insights from a crisis worker at a suicide hotline
When you start working at a suicide hotline, you often find yourself more stressed than the person you’re talking to.
Especially in the beginning.
I remember the first few months being marked by complete exhaustion after my shift, due to high anxiety. You never know what you’re going to face. You can’t be sure if you’ll be able to help, if the person is safe after you hang up, or if you’ve done a good job.
The adrenaline rush I felt when I heard the phone ring was immeasurable. “What now?” I would think to myself.
“Crisis center and suicide hotline, hello?”
Years after my first day, I realized that my anxiety stemmed from the fact that I had little to no control over what would happen next. I certainly developed decent self-emotional control. However, that control is not transmissible to others. I have zero power over what they are going to do.
I started drinking mint tea during my shifts to help me calm down. But as soon as the phone began ringing, the panic would return.
I knew I needed to find a way to mitigate this.
On a busy weekday, as I was drinking my tea while finishing notes from previous interventions, the phone rang again. I quickly picked it up, realizing that I still had a sip of tea in my mouth. I swallowed and took a breath.
“Crisis center and suicide hotline, hello?”
“Hi, I work at the hospital, and I just wanted to tell you that Laura is safe and will stay in for a couple of days.”
“Perfect, thank you!”
Surprisingly, I had no adrenaline rush when the phone rang. Was it because I was so busy, or was I finally building an armor? No, it was because I had controlled the pace of the conversation from the outset by taking a breath.
I was in control of that second before everything started, and it could last as long as I wanted. This brief moment allows me to mindfully establish my focus and headspace, calmly taking control of the situation.
When I train new crisis workers, they always ask why I take this second. I always reply, “To make my job possible.” I don’t think I would still be working there if it weren’t for this second.
I use this technique daily, before an exam, a meeting, a family reunion, before reading a book, or even getting out of bed. It is my way of achieving mindfulness and staying calm.
No matter what happens, I can always take one breath to gain control.
So can you.
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