The Journey of Setting Boundaries — Hard but Worth It
How to set healthy boundaries in relationships
I remember I used to be someone with no boundaries at all and it has affected me negatively, at the time, I wasn’t aware of my endeavors, I had little knowledge about life because I was in my early teenage years. Growing up and going through different experiences in life I had realized that I was a big people pleaser, I couldn’t dare to say “NO” to things I really wanted to say no to.
I wanted to feel loved and accepted and that happened, that’s why I liked to say “yes” to everything and put others before me, as long as they like me and compliment me I never had a problem at all, there are a lot of people who manipulated me back then to serve their own needs and I was too naive to understand what was going on.
Over time I started to feel mentally and physically tired, there was a lot of anger in me and I didn’t know the reason, I started refusing to do things for other people and they were shocked, they expected I was going to forever their maid, they accused me of changing and immediately stopped the special treatment like before, I know these people were benefiting from me by putting myself last.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others “ Brené Brown
Here is how you could create your own boundaries to protect yourself :
1. Visualize and Name Your Limits :
This is the first and most important step, when you sit down with yourself and start visualizing what kind of boundaries you need to create, and ask yourself: what kind of boundaries do I need to create in order to feel better ?
2.Openly communicate your boundaries :
After defining your limits clearly in your mind, you need to communicate those limits to those around you to make things clear, so that others are aware and respect them, you can do this easily in an indirect way between conversations.
3.Don’t be afraid to say no :
it will be hard the first time, but you will get used to it, refuse to go out with your friends, to babysit your nieces or to cook for the family everyday if that harms your soul, there is no one more important than you or your well being.
Thank you for reading my article.
