The Masculine Of Virgin
Wearing a white dress on her wedding night
I read a famous story by Sara Joseph, an Indian writer, feminist, and social activist. It’s called ‘The Masculine of Virgin’, a story that exposes the way society imposes dignity on women.
A child asking for the masculine of a virgin, the father, freed from the shock of hearing the question, replies somewhat lazily that it may not have a masculine form.
The general view of many patriarchal societies like India is that virginity is a matter for women only. A thing that women should keep like a precious treasure until marriage. Even I, who grew up watching old movies, misunderstood that a woman who has lost her virginity has lost everything.
The definition of the word ‘good woman’ was propagated by films of that time as a woman who did not lose her dignity before marriage.
If society learns that a girl has lost her dignity, her entire family will have a bad name and becomes a laughingstock. In other words, women should maintain the pride of their family. It is only her burden and responsibility.
One of the reasons why surgeries like hymenoplasty are still popular in many countries is society’s insatiable obsession with virgin women. There are also communities in India where the bride is dressed in white on her wedding night to ensure she is a virgin. The next day, if blood stains are not found on her white dress, she would be branded as an immoral woman and ostracized from society.
Lack of sex education and severe sex poverty are among the factors that are still holding back countries like India from moving forward. When will we understand that a good woman does not equal one who did not lose her virginity before marriage and that one’s purity is not determined by virginity?
As a girl who grew up in a rural area on the Indian peninsula, I never thought I would come out of this shell. After living in a Western country for the past 12 years, my views on society and feminism changed. Embracing another culture and language was a better option for me, rather than living with the fear of losing the so-called ‘purity’. I can only hope that the girls like me who grew up in patriarchal societies like India can come out of that shell and be free to do what they really want with their life.
