The Mother of All Master Keys…..Emotional Intelligence!
A deep dive into the no.1 key to success in personal and professional life.
We have all googled “the keys to be successful” at one point or the other. I know I have! I am aware that the definition of success varies from person to person. But whatever your definition is, there is one skill that needs to be weighed more than the other.
Emotional Intelligence: I know, nobody knows, nobody cares. But did you know that the emotional quotient has more impact on our success than the intelligence quotient? Many employers today are looking for people with more emotional intelligence than technical skills. “The father of emotional intelligence,” Daniel Goleman, says that our success depends on 80% emotional quotient and only 20% intellect.
Now, what exactly does emotional intelligence mean? Why is it so important, and how does it impact our well-being?
Let’s have a dig at it!
What is Emotional Intelligence(EI)?
Emotional intelligence is simply our ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as understand the emotions of others. The term was coined in 1990 and has evolved as the studies progressed.
Studies show that 71% of employers value emotional intelligence more than technical skills in candidates. Often, intellect is what gets us the job, but our emotional intelligence is what determines our performance and growth.
My Top 4 Core Elements of Emotional Intelligence
1. Self-Awareness
Have you ever had an emotional outburst and ended up thinking, why was it happening? Well, that is a sign of a lack of emotional awareness.
In terms of emotional intelligence, self-awareness mainly focuses on emotional awareness. It is the ability to recognize and understand our own strengths, weaknesses, and the impact of our emotions on personal as well as team performance.
According to research by Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, the percentage of people who think that they are self-aware is as high as 95%. But in reality, only 10–15% are truly self-aware.
The best way to figure out if you’re actually self-aware is by doing 360-degree feedback. In this method, you will evaluate yourself and cross-match it with the feedback from your peers, superiors, and subordinates.
2. Self-Management
Self-management is more about our ability to handle our own emotions all around, especially in stressful situations. This also includes our ability to adapt to changes, have emotional self-control, and have a positive outlook in tough situations.
People who have low emotional intelligence tend to have automatic reactions to everything. This is unhealthy in general. But in leadership, it is lethal to your career. Leaders who have self-management skills can easily navigate through challenges rather than blowing them out of proportion.
The best way to develop this?
Pause → Collect yourself → Choose intentional responses.
We can either breathe through this or seek external support.
3. Social Awareness
Learn to read the room. It is as simple as that. Understand and recognize the emotions of others and the interpersonal dynamics within the organization. Empathy is a key term here. Empathize with the team members, and appreciate communication and collaboration.
Studies from DDI, a leadership development firm, put forward empathy as the number one leadership skill. Studies show that leaders who practice empathy have over 40% higher performance in decision-making, coaching, and engaging others.
4. Relationship Management
This is directly linked to the capacity of a person to influence, coach, mentor, and effectively resolve conflicts within teams.
If you find another employee struggling at something that you are good at, guide and mentor them. Not addressing conflicts rationally in time always blows out of proportion later, and it can drain company resources and a good environment.
A respectful workplace is a safe workplace. According to research by the Society for Human Management, a respectful workspace is directly proportional to higher job satisfaction for 72% of employees.
Strategies to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Self-reflection is where you might want to start. Two of the most common ways to do this are by journaling and meditation. Dip your toes in both, be consistent, and see what works best for you.
Additionally, use goal setting and time management to improve your self-management skills.
When it comes to social awareness, active listening helps go a long way. Observe the nonverbal cues of others as well. This can manifest as facial expressions or body language.
Emotional intelligence in Decision Making
Emotional intelligence can help you recognize the gravity at which your decisions are influenced by your emotions. We all make decisions based on our emotions. But more often than not, these emotions do not guide us on the right path. With proper practice of emotional intelligence, you can make your emotions work in your favor, ultimately helping in making better decisions.
Let’s understand this in detail.
→ The Somatic Marker Hypothesis
The Somatic Marker Hypothesis is a scientific theory that suggests that decision-making is highly influenced by emotions. This theory is put forward by Antonio Damasio, a Portuguese-American neuroscientist.
Emotional responses and intuitions significantly impact the decision-making processes. While making decisions, our emotions manifest as bodily states. Increased heart rate, sweaty palms, etc, act as somatic markers. This is our body signaling emotional responses in specific situations.
Highly emotionally intelligent people use these emotional markers as cognitive shortcuts to analyze and predict the potential outcomes of decisions. This sort of emotional guidance is more holistic in a sense.
→ Emotional awareness and regulation
When we are aware of our emotions, we try to factor those personal feelings into the decision-making process. Emotional stability makes sure that decisions are not made impulsively but thoughtfully and ethically.
Self-awareness and self-regulation in emotional intelligence help in making better decisions. Someone who is more self-aware and knows how to regulate their emotions can easily navigate through any complex and emotional decisions.
→ Decision-Making in Psychiatric Illnesses
Many companies are very inclusive today, creating safe spaces for everyone to work.
However, all of the mentioned decision-making aspects using emotions are invalid when it comes to psychiatric illnesses. Such impaired emotional regulation contributes to risky choices. Psychiatric disorders such as addiction, eating disorders, and schizophrenia often involve compromised abilities in decision-making.
Therapeutic approaches
Therapeutic approaches can help improve this. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT) are commonly used to focus on and develop emotional intelligence in such mental illnesses. The therapy often consists of but is not limited to recognizing distorted thought patterns and regulating appropriate emotional reactions.
When CBT is used in individuals who particularly have such mental illnesses, it is still beneficial. CBT helps in developing constructive ways to cope with stressors which in turn reduces the effect of stress on mental health.
When we resort to such therapeutic practices, the impact is often long-term. The goal is not just limited to relieving the symptoms. It extends beyond for a more consistent emotional well-being and overall improvement in quality of life.
Apart from these, some therapists adapt to more collaborative and tailored strategies for the emotional development of their patients. They implement a therapist-patient partnership approach to focus on the patient’s individual emotional strengths and challenges.
Also, with a combination of such treatment plans, people often develop more adaptive emotional responses. This helps to reduce the chances of relapses or making the psychiatric symptoms worse. This, in turn, improves their decision-making skills.
Final Thought
I grew up with a lot of emotional dysregulation issues. As I entered the workforce a couple of years ago, I realized that intelligence and tech skills are not the only factors that can get me ahead. As I looked around, there was a significant behavioral difference between the superior employees and those stuck at the bottom of the funnel.
Intelligence was not the only factor that got them ahead; it was emotional intelligence. Being more calm and composed during adversities, handling conflicts like a pro, and being empathetic of those around them, along with many other factors connected to emotional intelligence.
So, take a breath, step back and reflect. Regulate your emotions and grow!
