The Promise I Broke
Some promises are made to be broken.
This quiet and mysterious being made my heart flutter the moment he stepped into a room. He stood about 6'3 with broad shoulders, a sporty physique, and caramel sunkissed skin that made me want to take a bite. Cute creases surrounded his eyes as he smiled and waved to his friends. There was something hidden behind his eyes. It was something I couldn't quite measure.
He walked over and joined his friends who sat in their chairs laughing hysterically at something on Dan's phone. “Hi, guys what's up?” The soft velvet tone of his voice echoed in my mind over and over again. Lost in a daydream of us hand in hand, Michael tapped me on the shoulder. “What are you thinking about?” Embarrassed I shrug. “Nothing important I say.”
As the class was ready to begin I couldn't shake the feeling that he was suffering in some way. Those eyes told his soul and from then on I made it a mission to hear his laugh.
We had two classes together in High School. The first class was choir which I loved. The second was an elective taught in the library right after class. Looking toward the back where he stood I noticed him mouthing the words to the song. I couldn't hear his voice but I was thinking how great would it be if he sang to me.
We rehearsed for the spring concert coming up. Many members auditioned for solos especially those who supported the program with a lot of green. The last song was sung and our teacher gave us a little joke about us being off-key. Looking at the clock he then said“remember to enunciate your vowels.”Mr. S would give us a final send-off with the piano as the bell began to ring.
The hive scurried about getting their belongings and moved on to the next class. There he was heading off to the Library, and I followed. I wanted to walk beside him and start a conversation, but I couldn't decide what to say. So I trailed behind and waited til he stepped inside and sat down.
The feeling I had was like no other as I walked in and noticed there was a seat empty beside him. Gloria wasn't here! This was my chance. I calmly walked over and sat next to him. A beautiful rustic aroma filled my nostrils as I adjusted my seat. The scent of him invited me in, and all I could think was, what would it be like to be in his world?
I immediately regretted taking another elective as I logged in to the online class. I pegged myself as a writer then and thought taking Latin would help my writing skills. It would be more challenging than I had previously thought but I got through it.
We sat in silence for a while, just working away.
How do I get him to talk to me? I thought.
Before we get to the next part, I want to say I was young and nervous. Don't judge me. I only did what old rom-com’s taught me to do.
Growing up watching Legally Blonde and Clueless prepared me for this part. Thankfully I remembered to bring a pencil. I quickly took out a notebook as if I was taking notes. We all know I wasn't. I grabbed my pencil, began to fiddle with it, and practically threw it under his chair. To my dismay, he didn't notice, but I was determined to make him talk to me.
“Excuse me.” My voice shook like an untuned flute. After about three “excuse me’s,” I eventually tapped him on his shoulder. I tapped again more firmly. I was thinking, what do I have to do? Join a circus to get this man to notice me.
He turned to look at me without saying a word. Before I knew it, I was staring. I gazed into the moonlit black ponds of his eyes and couldn't look away. My eyes trailed down to those rosy pink lips, and my mind began to wander.
“Hi. Um, I dropped my pencil. It's under your chair.” He stops and continues working.
“It’s right there,” I say, pointing to the pencil. He quickly finds it and hands it to me.
“Thank you,” I say, but no response from him. This was progress at least he looked at me. Is he that shy? Or do I have repellant on?
“You’re in my choir class, right? I say without giving up. He looked at me as if unsure if I was addressing him. “Yes, I’m talking to you.” He looked down as if he dropped something and took a deep breath. “yes.” He whispered.”
“Why are you so quiet? It's just this class that's in the library” All of us were taking different online courses not led by a teacher, even though we had an Instructor present. His babysitting only consisted of technical help.
“What are you taking?” I asked. Of course, it was an advanced course that I wouldn't dream of taking. I expected him to ask me a question, but he didn't. He just continued to look at the computer screen.
At this point, I need to take a hint. But there was something about him that I couldn't shake. So I proceeded to say, “ Are you always this quiet? As you see, I’m trying to talk to you, and you're making this so hard. So rude. You little rudy.” I say jokingly.
“I'm sorry.” He catches my gaze and looks down. “I’m just a little shy.”
“I don't buy it. I see you always laughing and joking around with your friends in class, but when I talk to you, you are suddenly shy. How come?”
“Well, I know them from middle school, and they're my friends plus, it's hard for me to talk to girls.”
“How is it hard for you to talk to girls? I said, astonished. I mean, you don't look at yourself in the mirror and think, look how good-looking I am?” “No.” He hesitantly smiled.
“Well, you are very handsome and should be more confident in yourself. If I looked like you and were a guy, I would be chatting up many girls. So many different girls in different area codes.”
He laughs at this, and I feel like Im accomplishing my goal. I loved his laugh, but I could tell he was self-conscious about it.
This is a true story, and I want to keep his identity private. For the sake of this story, let's call him something basic like Sean.
He holds his hand out and says, “Im, Sean. It's nice to meet you.” I shake his hand and say, “Im Bea. It's nice to meet you too.”
“Bea? That's a pretty name.”
“Thank you,” I said. He lingers a while and stares into my eyes. I can feel myself becoming hot all over and a little preparation beginning to form on my nose. He doesn't let go. When is this sexy specimen going to let me go? He didn't. I eventually let go and began to talk as if nothing had happened.
After that day we talked and laughed so much. The others in the class began to notice and join in the conversation. Over some months, we began to have round table discussions with everyone. Unfortunately, this led me to have some competition.
This beautiful blonde bombshell took a shine to my future boo. She began to sit next to him and flirt. She would touch him, and my insides began to boil. Keep it cool. This little hussy doesn't have anything on you. I tried to boost my confidence, but inside I felt so inadequate.
I missed our one-on-one talks. I didn't know how to ask him out. I had always been told that men should chase and women should be chased. This wasn't the 1920’s though. The same rules couldn't apply. The more we talked, the closer we got. We got so close that he told me something that I would never forget.
It was towards the end of March, heading into April. I kept wondering when he would ask me to the prom. I’ll tell you now that it never happened. It was a typical day of teens teasing each other when I touched his arm and felt a scar. I rubbed it as if I could wipe it away, and his body stiffened. “What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing!”
“Nothing? That doesn't look like nothing!”
“It was an accident.”
“How did it happen?”
“Just drop it, okay.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Yes, no. Why can't you tell me what happened to you?
“It's no big deal. I just fell and scraped it.”
“A scrape? A scrape wouldn't have left a scar like that.”
“Okay, look, I..I..I…just don't want to talk about it.”
“Did someone do this to you?!”
His fearful eyes set on mine.“Listen, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone.”
“Okay. You can trust me. Just tell me what happened.”
He expressed how it was about two years ago when he got into an argument with his mother. He claimed he said something hideous to her, which made her angry. She burned his arm and left a quarter-sized scar. I was shocked, angry, and confused at how any mother could do this to her child.
“Promise me you won't tell.”
“I promise.”
