The Thief of Joy
Comparison is a foolproof way to feel miserable
I’m envious of everyone. That’s a rough confession, but it is what it is. Since when did I become arrogant and pushy, jealous of people around me and what I can’t achieve? Adding salt to the wound, scrolling through social media to see the happiness of my friends sucks.
Questions start popping up whenever I see them. Look at those achievements they earned! What do I accomplish so far? See their smile while spending time with their loved ones! Am I content with my well-being? It exhausts me to think that my friends are turning into adversaries.
The Devouring Envy
Deep inside I know that jealousy never does me any good, but it’s too tempting to resist at times. It’s not that I hope they shoulder the same miserable life I carry. It’s just that that sheer rage heats up my brain because I wish I had something or someone.
Jealousy crept into me bit by bit. I start to think that I don’t have any talent. It might be better if I give up. If only I could’ve had as much talent as them. Everyone is improving. Their smile gets bigger by the day, and they laugh even harder. I’m trying my best, too — But why does the gap only keep growing?
My thought suffocates me each time I see them. Maybe I should try to look inward. In the first place, why the heck am I so eager to compare myself to others? What am I looking at? The part where they succeed, or them as a whole human being? Wait, this is getting intriguing. Slow down, my thought, I might have overlooked things.
Being Perfect is Dumb
Let’s see you grit those teeth, dear me. You picture your perfect self as the one that solely picks the good fortunes in your friends’ lives. You dumbass did not take into account what you’d have to give up to win those things — You’re too busy comparing your behind-the-scenes with their highlight reels.
Heck, the idea of being perfect is dumb. You recall saying that yourself a while ago, didn’t you? There are only two perfect men in the world. The first has been dead for a long time, and the second has yet to be born.
You need to know the jealousy you get from comparing yourself to others only brings you hatred. You despise everyone around you, including yourself. Nothing helpful or practical comes from it as it only causes you to suffer. It will keep you isolated from the rest of the world. You won’t be able to experience life as it is.
You’re Only Human
Looking at others’ achievements can set your spirit ablaze. But this time, it’s reducing you to ashes. Take a break if you’re tired of seeing others’ achievements, but don’t slack off. Only when you mature enough to accept your flaws, may you proceed to become a better version of yourself.
This is something I heard. There’s a saying that you can never see your true face. At best, you can see your reflection in the mirror. But there is no way for you to see your actual self. So isn’t it illogical to compare yourself to others? In the end, it may be the case that only other people have the right to evaluate you — Perhaps, all you can do is hone your skills.
Kab. Tangerang, January 17th 2023
M. Bayu Bajra
