This Simple Concept Will Help You Sort Out a Messed Up Life
For some of us, our life is so messed up we don’t know where to start to sort it out.
I am one such person.
I started out well, gaining a good degree and winning a coveted place in an international bank that took me all over the world.
But gradually, over the years, I let my career and my life deteriorate into nothing much. Where I used to be fit, determined and consistent, today I am obese, comfortable and lazy.
In my struggle to put my life back on track, I was introduced to Anthony Trucks’ book Identity Shift by a fellow Medium writer.
The book contains a wealth of wisdom, but one concept he introduces, The Tree and Fruits, has helped me see clearly what I need to do.
How this concept works
The fruits are the result of who we are: our finances, our career, our education, our successes, and our leisure. The tree is the creator of who we are: our family, our friends, our health, our faith, and our emotions.
By nourishing the tree, we are able to produce rich fruits in our life. But if we fail to pay attention to the tree, our fruits will turn brown, wither and die.
I looked at who I was when I was at university, and who I am now in the context of the tree and its fruits.
How I have applied the concept to my story
When I was young, I was good at nourishing the tree. My ‘things’ were studying and running. The studying gained me top grades in my UK ‘A’ level exams and a good degree. Studying was like an input. It was a way to feed the tree with all that it needed to produce something good. And so my ‘A’ level and degree results became the fruits produced by this tree.
It was the same with my running. I ran the hills behind my secondary school and the hills behind my university campus every day. A 5-mile run up and down. The running nourished my body and mind. This nourishment enabled me to concentrate for hours on end in the library, and gave me a level of self-respect I have never experienced since. The ability to concentrate and my self-respect were also my fruits.
But it didn’t continue like this. When I became a banker living in Hamburg, Sharjah, Hong Kong and Brunei, I allowed my mind to deteriorate. I thought that banking wasn’t dynamic enough for me. I dreamed about quitting and doing something more outgoing and adventurous.
Those thoughts led to me quitting the bank before I had gained sufficient career capital, and so began a gradual decline in my motivation, my determination, and my sense of what I should be doing with my life.
As my mind sunk, so did my body. I stopped running and replaced it with beer. This made my decline even more pronounced. I eventually stopped drinking, but the tree had received so little nourishment over the years that today I am a shadow of the young man I was all those years ago.
From my experience, then, the mind is critical in nourishing the tree — in giving us the inner strength and positivity to be able to deal with the challenges we face on the outside.
(Although Anthony Trucks mentions a specific number of things that can be used to nourish the tree, I needed to expand his list to cover more ‘internal’ aspects of my life. You can also expand the concept in any way you wish to fit with your own needs.)
I allowed my tree to wither as I let my negativity take over my life. The fruits — my income, my career success, and my self-respect — all turned to rot.
How I plan to use the concept to change my life
But now, with the idea that I need to first nourish my tree in order to produce something worthwhile in my life, I can start on a plan.
For me, internal communication (what we say to ourselves all day long on the inside) is the key to getting started.
That’s because what I say to myself determines how I feel. And how I feel determines what I do.
And what I think today is that I’m not ready to give up yet. I want to create a shift in my identity. I want to change my thinking, my emotions and my actions, resulting in a slimmer me with more energy, motivation and excitement.
I don’t think much about the past. I regret what I did to my career, but I don’t let it control my outlook today. I do think about what I need to do, both inside and out, to climb up and out of the hole I have dug for myself.
So if you are fed up with where you have ended up.
If you are tired of feeling self-conscious when in company.
And if you feel just a bit of excitement when you think about the possibilities ahead for you — then maybe thinking about your Self and your Life in terms of the tree and its fruits will help you change.
Good luck!
