Ways To Set Personal Boundaries
Setting boundaries can be a daunting task especially when your very nature is to treat other people’s problems as your own. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. By learning about ourselves, our limits of tolerance, and what we stand for, we can set those healthy boundaries.
What is a boundary?
A boundary is a limit or a rule you set for yourself within any particular relationship; be that with a friend, a partner, family member, or even a work colleague. Having healthy boundaries means you can open up to people and share your intimate or vulnerable thoughts, but it also means you’re able to say no sometimes.
How can I set personal boundaries?
Trust and have faith in yourself
You always know what you want, even though you feel like you’re in a confused state about what to do next or how to respond to people’s needs. Deep down, you actually know what’s right, how much you can take, and your limits. Listening to yourself is the best you can do. Trust your needs and go with how you feel.
It’s okay to say “NO”
This word scares “people-pleasers” like me, but once you learn the power and correct use of this word the world is a happier place. Your personal needs are not supposed to sit on the backburner.
Your colleague needs your help with their project and you have a lot on your plate already, just gather that courage and politely say no. There is a certain limit to which you can drain yourself. Going beyond that limit is not always great.
Prioritizing yourself first is OKAY.
Cutting those toxic people or people who drain your energy is OKAY. You’re your own adobe because at the end of the day you have to reside with yourself, so let’s make our home a place with truckloads of “happy energy”. Prioritize your needs, your work, and your people.
Be assertive.
You can always make your emotions clear by using certain phrases like:
“I am not comfortable with this”, “Maybe another time”, “I am not OK with that”, “I’d prefer something else”, “Sorry, I am not interested”, etc.
There’s always a way to say no while making sure you don’t disrespect anyone.
Listen to yourself.
Never create a state of avoidance for your own feelings and emotions. The only person who has to face that pain, resentment, and baggage is you.
Personally, it took me quite a lot of time to understand my limits and boundaries myself. It only gets harder if you are one of those people whose immediate response is to help others. You can’t emotionally give out what you don’t have, so taking time out for yourself to look after yourself is a necessary skill to learn. It can be challenging, but I assure you the result will be beneficial.
