What is personal value and how can we increase it?
One of the most misused words in today’s discourse.
If we listen closely to everyday conversations we are involved in, on subjects like dating, personal relationships, and work relationships, the word value seems to be thrown left and right.
He can’t see my value!
How to be a valuable worker?
He is a valuable man/valuable woman…
What is value?
Let’s start with defining the word “value”.
A friend bought me a very interesting book for my birthday. I felt like I was given a handbook of life, like a basic understanding of the words we use daily was lacking.
This is the first time I came across a definition of the word which is used broadly but without any further inference.
The book is by the author Ayn Rand, who was characterized as a bit controversial because of her views on different topics.
“Value” is that which one acts to gain and/or keep. The concept “value” is not primary; it presupposes an answer to the question: of value to whom and for what? It presupposes an entity capable of acting to achieve a goal in the face of an alternative. (Rand Ayn, The Virtue of Selfishness 1964)
Is it value or respect?
When we think about it, it's pretty simple. If someone can't see our value, it's because the way we live and our actions aren't something that other people consider “valuable”.
And why is that?
Let's imagine the person that most people would say is a quality person, a valuable friend, and a great partner to be with. The person in question has obtained two bachelor's degrees, they are extremely devoted to their education and research about specific topics.
In theory, most people can respect that person.
But if we don't share the same path that person chooses to have in their lifetime, their specific actions towards education and learning will not impact our personal relationship with them.
Another person is not an asset that we can obtain.
Yes, we can value their ambition and devotion as separate values, but we can't value those specific things that a person chooses to do in their life if it's not aligned with the actions that we take in our life.
How can we increase our value?
If we are talking about personal relationships, we can say that trying to take action and obtain more value by doing so is pointless just to be perceived as valuable by a specific person or group of people.
It is clear that no matter how many generally “good” things we do in our lives, at the end of the day, someone else might not find us valuable at all.
What we can do instead is take action toward things and people that we find valuable.
Many people are scared or don’t know how to do this. They submit themselves to societal values accepted by most of the population, like having a high-paying job or a family with many children.
Societal values are not inherently bad for us, but if we submitted to them without actually doing what we want and value, our life would probably become a big problem quickly.
Let’s try to think about what we value in other people. Is it a good education, traditional values, devoting our lives to traveling, living on a small island, or something else?
We can try the same with other personal values, like ambition, confidence, intelligence, etc.
Based on the definition by the author, we can choose to whom and to what we give our value. Value is action and everything we do in our life.
Let me know what you think about this take.
