Why Are You Writing When You Are Sad?
And what does writing have to do with chaos and order, magic, and The Witcher?
Fellow Medium writer Nicci Kadilak wrote a story about writing when things are bad. As every good reader should do, I clapped and commented on the topic. Here is the link to the comment.
And everything would have been just fine and peachy, I would have moved on with my life. Nicci would have seen the comment or not, decided to respond or not, clap or not. All would have been ordinary, until…
Until I realized that my comment is probably longer than it should be. It created an article for itself. I deleted half of it and decided to write this article instead.
I do these things from time to time. I over-write. I can’t help myself, once inspiration kicks in.
My comment needed extra attention. I was ready to give in.
What was the comment about?
It was about creating order within chaos.
At first, my comment had nothing to do with the Witcher (if you haven’t watched it yet, it’s like Game of Thrones’s little brother with a potential). Then I thought about it. In these series, the most powerful creatures — witchers and mages seek to control the chaos within to create order without.
Let me get to the point. Yennefer (a female character in the series and one of the most powerful mages that ever walked the Witcher’s imaginary continent), in the first few episodes, is learning to control anger, frustration, and disappointment — CHAOS within herself in order to learn magic, develop and become powerful.
Just like Yennefer, we are dealing with our chaos.
How? The best we can — with writing.
No doubt, there are different ways of dealing with emotions. Some people like boxing (highly recommended as well!), some running, some crying, and some people go shopping.
All valid, all functional if not taken overboard. After all, coping mechanisms should not create more problems than we already have at hand.
However, this is the community of writers and readers, so I will try to explain how writing creates order.
When you are carrying heavy emotions like pain (there is such thing as psychological pain!), frustration, anxiety, depression, etc., you are carrying chaos. How can you know that? Simply because you feel disconnected, not at ease, distressed.
You search for meaning, you search for the way out. You want to feel at ease again. You want to ease the chaos around you and most importantly within you.
So you write. By writing, as you might have already noticed, you are attempting to order your thoughts. So you could understand when you read it sometime later and so others can understand it too.
By putting your thoughts in order on the paper/the screen, we are able to see them, externalize them, manipulate them. That brings a sense of control.
With the sense of control comes a sense of ease and power. A sense that you can handle everything that comes your way.
Just like Yennefer you are creating magic. Just like Gerald — The Witcher you are using that magic to fight off the monsters. Unlike Yennefer and Gerald, instead of creating Netflix magic, you are creating tangible magic with your writing.
Why are we not writing (as much or at all) when we are happy?
Some of us are. I am. And I believe many more writers do. Because we are writers, that is what we do. If you were to live in Dubai and you were to write only on rainy days, when would you write?
However, I do understand that the urge to write is different when we are feeling content and happy.
With the sense of happiness, there is nothing you would need to bring into order. Moreover, if there is some kind of chaos in feeling happy and well, you are gladly accepting it. It doesn’t bother you.
It is important to note, that you can create magic in both states — chaos and order. No state is above the other. No state rules. Neither chaos nor order lasts forever. However, they are infinite. They compliment each other. Upon us is to learn to balance both and create magic.
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