Why Do People Break Up Even If They Love Each Other
My girlfriend broke up with me but I still love her…
Love alone is not enough for a relationship to work. Loving someone does not automatically mean that you are happier and better at solving everyday problems. This may lead to the fact that many couples split up even though they love each other. We’ll look at why in today’s article.
Why do people separate even though they love each other? It happens very often. Perhaps you have already had this experience yourself and have left someone you loved. Breakups like this are about more than incompatibility, communication issues, or a lack of excitement.
People who love each other often break up several times and find each other again and again until they finally decide to end the relationship once and for all. They split up, get back together and try again. This often leads to statements such as “This doesn’t work, let’s take a break from the relationship” and “Let’s try again, this time we’ll do better”.
Unfortunately, nothing seems to work. As a love gradually fades, it can become very painful. And the methods you use to keep them alive only make the wounds bigger.
Loving someone is not just about wanting them. Rather, it is about understanding them and being able to connect with their reality. Perhaps that’s the main reason people break up despite being in love. Because letting go is probably the only way in which you can be yourself and avoid recurring suffering.
For a significant part of your life (especially when you were young), you probably believed that love is the glue that holds everything together. Then, when you get older and have learned more about the world, you realize that love cannot overcome anything. Disappointingly, it isn’t the magic ingredient for a happy relationship.
To understand why people stick together or why they split up, it may be helpful to look at some of the classic studies by John Gottman. For the past 40 years, both Gottman and Robert Levenson have explored relationship dynamics through therapy, interviews, surveys, and follow-up with couples.
Although a long and happy relationship may seem as complex as Rubik’s Cube, it’s easier than you’d guess. Understanding the basic factors that cause two loving people to break up can help you better understand relationships. Let’s take a closer look at some of these reasons below.
Although They Love Each Other, They Have Different Life Plans
When you choose to be in a relationship with someone, you do so for many different reasons or needs: passion, attraction, friendship, complicity, and chemistry. And yet you feel that there is a great void that cannot be closed; a source of suffering that does not go away.
Your life plans could get in the way of your perfect partnership. Your job may be the most important thing to you. All of your plans revolve around your career. However, your partner is much more interested in having children together. Therefore, he/she is not enthusiastic about your professional ambitions resulting in conflictions.
I Love You But I Don’t Understand You
Understanding someone means that you can put yourself in their situation and connect with that person’s reality. While this may seem basic and essential, it can be extremely difficult in a love relationship. Because sometimes love doesn’t know how or it doesn’t even want to understand.
I Don’t Feel Valued Enough By You
Another common reason for breakups is the fact that the partners don’t feel valued enough. This is a situation where the length of a relationship weighs on it in a very concrete way. When you are with someone for a while, many things become natural for you. Your partner’s actions, efforts, small gestures, each other’s virtues, etc.
Although your partner shouldn’t feel obliged to praise or compliment you, mutual respect and appreciation are an important part of a healthy relationship.
Communication Problems
Communication is extremely important in any relationship. If you know how to listen, speak assertively, or can disagree without being overly emotional, the important cornerstones for any relationship. The same goes for your ability to compromise. Hence, poor communication is another reason people break up despite being in love.
When People Just Give Up The Relationship Even Though They Love Each Other
Your relationship doesn’t exist in a bubble. Therefore, of course, it is not protected from events and circumstances in your life. You also have to deal with the family and especially with the parents. However, at times the parent-child bond can be so tight that it affects your relationship.
Additionally, there are numerous barriers in your professional and social life that could stand in the way of a romantic relationship. Infidelity, temptation, or jealousy can raise doubts in one or both partners.
Sometimes certain circumstances lead you to realize the true nature of your partner. An illness, a legal problem … Observing how your partner reacts in these situations could change the way you perceive them.
So in summary, we can say that sometimes it is difficult to understand why people break up even though they love each other. However, in this article, I have shown you a few reasons why love alone is not enough to maintain a relationship.
Relationships are built. You have to build them with great care, using the best materials you can find. That way, you will have a stable, beautiful, and lasting relationship.
