Why Do We Always Desire for the Things We Cannot Have?

It says a lot about our minds

Photo by Guillermo Latorre on Unsplash

Our mind is made in such a way that we start to consider those things attractive which are inaccessible to us. At the same time, when we get those things in our hand, or the things start to appear accessible, we instantly lose interest in it.

Take an example; when we were in high school we got attracted to someone mysterious, or someone who was out of our league, and we lived with that emotion for a long. And it suddenly vanished the moment we got to know about them or when we started a relationship with them.

In more technical terms, it's called The Forbidden Fruit Effect; It's an evolutionary makeup of our minds that desires to learn about unknown things. Our curious mind starts to get attracted to those things which appear Forbidden, we get a sudden rage of achieving them or exploring them. Its consequences aren’t limited to just wishing the things; it extends to create tendencies that we start to consider as our own desires.

Photo by Nosiuol on Unsplash

Have you ever noticed that when we were a child, we were told to do such things and at the same time prohibited ourselves from doing some particular things?

That restriction created a subtle desire in our mind to test the things we were told not to expose ourselves to. The second we were imposed with a restriction, our mind started to create a curiosity to know more about those things. The same effect operates when we break rules, there is a subtle adrenaline rush when we do something that hasn’t complied with the rules.

Why it’s important to acknowledge it?

Being aware of this tendency will do you a lot of favor and protect you from useless risks and associated dangers. You are now aware of the fact that the thing you are obsessed with is not because of the value it holds but because of its inaccessibility.

Whenever you are under the control of a rage of pushing your limit and trying something out of the box, or maybe breaking a rule, it’s not your conscious self that is desiring it, but a subconscious tendency of your mind. By being aware of this effect, you can also protect yourself from the disappointment that appears when you get what you once wished to have.

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable”- Mark Twain

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