Win the War on Worrying

Calm your cortex and build resilience

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

Are you the type of person who has those thoughts late at night or on the way to work like, “God, I hope I didn’t forget to… or I really wish I didn’t have to… or maybe even, Jeezy Peats for crying out loud, please don’t make me have to talk to Becky for another 45 minutes!”

These concerns are classic cases of worrying about stuff that may never happen. And, if it does, we blow it out of proportion to how bad/ uncomfortable it is. Today is all about finding some tranquility in the mind and body. To be able to soothe our thoughts, relax our bodies, and focus on what we can control is a superpower.

Otherwise, we typically get stuck in fear or agitation cycle that makes us resent emotions, people, and incidences. Instead, wouldn’t it be nice to know that everything will work out okay?

Everything is just as it should be! I used to think this seemed like some grade-A bs. Especially if we are getting shouted at or forgot to hit send on the important email, it will make sense here in a moment.

I suggest using this exceptional awareness of worry for a deeper understanding of your beliefs. Then, use that knowledge to grow your resilience, courage, and effectiveness.

So, let’s begin. Understand your main patterns for worry. Remember when you got shaken up about forgetting to do something, doing it wrong, not finishing your goal, or not knowing what to do. Look for the central theme — are you stressing to yourself that you’ll let somebody down, you’ll look like a clueless dork, feel like you are not the right person for the job, not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy? Find this part of you that says “OUCHIE!” That struck a chord.

That’s good! You are getting closer to healing, but first, you may have to pick at the scab of denial to ensure you get to the root of the core belief. Initially, we may believe it’s their fault, or these beliefs are true, or we can never get better — but don’t fool yourself. We All Can Grow and Improve!

Sit with the sensation, whatever feels the most painful (it will most likely change over time).

Start, go through the exercise and play out in your mind messing up awfully — the worst-case scenario. As you play it out, notice the discomfort arising (where is it located, feel like, look like?).

Next, check for yourself that you did not die. You Made It! Okay, so that isn’t going to kill you, check. Here’s where the growth comes in…

Finally, as you sit with this making it as big and painful as possible, you can zoom out to see that you as a whole being is still unaffected. You are developing the courage to sit with your fear yet gaining an understanding that it is just a tiny part of your story of you.

Tip: The further back you can trace your original worry story, the more you can peel up that scab, the deeper you can heal and start “fresh” with that experience, not infecting the rest of you.

Hopefully, after a decent understanding of that, I want to give you some additional ways to find relief and separation from the worry and use it to power yourself.

1st- the great idea is to create a little haven in your mind, find a quiet space you can go to, and leave the stress and drama behind. It takes practice, but I relate it to remodeling homes. You are remodeling a little sanctuary, yoga studio, or lounge in your dome. So, be creative, and go there often to unwind.

2nd- The next skill to hone is to notice when you immediately go into worry mode. Identify and rectify. Call it out and announce, “Hey, I see you, I hear you, but I have things under control, nothing to be alarmed about.” It’s a natural impulse to rev up, feel that, and then separate from it by offering it a few soothing words or, better yet, breaths. Slow & long exhale to remind the stress not to get to amplified.

3rd- back in my old glory days playing high school football (no, I don’t still wear a letterman jacket, and yes, I am still making new glory days), I used to get so worked up and worried over my performance and the other team. It made me stuck in my head, second guess myself, and be rigid and timid. It wasn’t until a buddy said he uses his nerves for fuel. That was when I learned the power of harnessing that extra energy.

Instead of worrying about the bad that could go wrong, I started using it to visualize myself making incredible plays, ending up on the ESPN highlight reel, and signing an NFL contract! Ha! Well, exaggerating my minor small-town football career didn’t lead to a multi-million-dollar deal. IT CERTAINLY DID make me feel much better, and I enjoyed my time on the field in action.

Otherwise, it would have been easy enough to accept my negative worry as fate and end up on the sidelines, watching my life pass me by. Nobody wants that.

It’s in our human nature to worry. That’s fine! Don’t let it stop you from enjoying your best life RIGHT NOW!!

Keep getting up, my friend,

Tyler D.



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Tyler D

Tyler D


I am a personal trainer who focuses on strengthening the body AND mind. I like to help people improve their self-image AND self-esteem.