Four Possible Futures for Elon Musk and Tesla
Does Tesla motor along? Does it get acquired? Will Elon serve jail time? We do some divination for America’s weirdest CEO.
On Tuesday, news broke that the Department of Justice had started a probe into Elon Musk’s August 7 tweet: “Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured.” The news of the DOJ inquiry sent Tesla stock tumbling yet again, continuing what has been an extremely tumultuous 2018 for Musk (and, by proxy, Tesla). Since the beginning of 2018, Musk has [deep breath] angrily lashed out an an analyst on an earnings call; accused someone of being a pedophile; accepted a blunt from Joe Rogan on video; started a feud with the media about “fake news”; maybe trapped rapper Azealia Banks in his own house; gotten into a fight about stealing a picture of a farting unicorn; and headbutted one of his own cars. He also started dating indie musician Grimes.
So, we smoked some DMT with Joe Rogan, convened with the machine elves and hyperspace jesters, and came out with four possible futures for Tesla and Elon Musk.
Tesla Glides Along
Obscured by blunt smoke, the drama surrounding Musk, and news of execs fleeing Tesla is that the company has gotten better at the one thing a car company…
