More Realistic Diversity Track Topics at Tech Conferences

NOTE: The ones with a * are actual diversity workshops/talks/panels I’ve attended/given/been on.

Workshops

How to Order Women’s Sizes in Shirts: A Lesson in Using Dropdown Menus

Ahem.

Subtle Hand Signals for Flagging Down Co-Workers/Fake Phone Calls for When You’re Cornered at Conferences By a Stranger Who Won’t Take a Hint

Acting/Improv For Engineers: How to Act Like You Know the Dude Who Claims They “Know You from Twitter” (++ How to Act Like You’re Not 100% Creeped Out!)

Badge Reading 101: A Workshop for People to Learn How to Read Conference Badge Job Titles to See Yes- This Woman Is Indeed an Engineer

Bathroom Selfie Workshop: How To Find the Most Flattering Light in the Empty Women’s Restrooms 🚽

Talks

*A Talk That is Just Stock Photos of Ethnically/Gender Diverse Stock Photos for 45 Slides with Vaguely Cited Statistics 📊

*Learning to Code in Poverty (this talk has been cancelled since we refused to reimburse her for flight/hotel)

We Hired a Black Female Engineer!: A Recruiter Explains Why Every Single Photo on Their Jobs Page Features Her

Panels

A Panel of All 5 Women Who Attended This Conference- One Might Be a Caterer? I Don’t Know, I Just Tried to Round Up All of Them I Could Find

*The Importance of Diversity in Tech (discussed by an all-white/mostly male panel)

Just 4–5 Recruiters and CEOs Patting Each Other on the Back For Hiring 2 Women Last Year and One Guy Who “I think is from Puerto Rico…? Wait no… he went there on vacation recently. Palo Alto- he’s from Palo Alto”

Keynote

Keynote: Damore You Know! 🌈⭐️ (James Damore defends his manifesto LIVE! while we throw tomatoes at him and listen to Beyonce & Dolly Parton to Drown Out His Voice 🍅)

Be Our Guest, ladies & gentlemen.

Special thanks to Allison Page for the inspo (follow her- she’s a funny lady). 💖