Understanding Love and Relationships

What is love? Many may ask themselves this question, however it is quite complex and most of the time it seems like everyone just makes up their own definition based on their experience. Love is a multifaceted emotion that encompasses a range of feelings, attitudes and experiences. There is one thing that we all agree on when describing the feeling of love, is its emotional bond that we create with loved ones. Love is characterized by its affection and care for the well-being of someone we love. Additionally, love is built on mutual respect and trust between people. These elements are necessary to create a powerful and long lasting connection whether it is romantic, familial, or simply a platonic relationship. There are various types of love. Romantic love involves intense attraction and emotional connection between partners. Platonic love is a deep friendship without a romantic interest. Familial love is the natural love we have for our family members. And lastly, self-love is us appreciating ourselves. Understanding the type of relationship we are in is crucial and can help you to learn more about yourself. As you delve into understanding love and relationships, you will discover the reason why you have a certain attachment style. This can be beneficial to both you and your partner.

Attachment styles can be a big factor in relationships. Basically, your attachment style influences how you relate to your partner, which then affects how you behave in a relationship. It can tell how healthy and unhealthy your relationships are. They usually link back to childhood, but the good news is that being aware of and understanding your attachment style can help you to forge more satisfying relationships in the future. According to Holly Roberts, a counselor at Relate, “Attachment staples develop as a result of the bonds we make with our primary carers usually our parents when we are young babies”

Secure attachment style

Having a secure attachment style is seen as a gold standard of attachments and the one people try to work towards. This means you have a strong connection with your partner.

A secure attachment style doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is perfect, it just means you will be able to handle any problems in a healthier way. Here are some signs that indicate having a secure attachment to adult relationships. Positive interaction is enjoying talking to your partners and spending time together.Trust, to trust is to feel secure in the relationship and to trust one another. Honesty allows couples to communicate openly and honestly. Vulnerability is to feel comfortable with each other, sharing inner thoughts, feelings and needs. Conflict resolution means disagreement happens but you can talk them out. Balance is to maintain individuality while enjoying time with your partner. Lastly, Support, be there for each other’s goals, dreams and aspirations.

Insecure Attachment Style

If one’s attachment style isn’t secure they can fall under three separate areas of the insecure attachment style. The three styles are very important in determining the impact of overall well-being and romantic relationships.These three styles are known as Anxious, Avoidant, & Disorganized Attachment. The individual with Avoidant/ Dismissive Attachment style tend to place value on their independence even to the point they may avoid closeness and intimacy in relationships. They may appear emotionally distant and struggle to express their feelings or depend on others. This in turn can lead to difficulties while trying to form deep and meaningful connections. In childhood, their caregivers completely rejected their emotional needs and they had to self soothe or believe that their emotions weren’t valid or warrant attention. The individual with Anxious/Preoccupied Secure attachment often feels insecure and overly dependent on their partners. They might display behaviours characterized by a high need for approval and fear of abandonment. This at times leads to clinginess and constant seeking of reassurance in relationships, which can strain their romantic connections. During childhood, their caregivers were inconsistent with nurturing. At times clingy and overbearing Dan other times perhaps distant. This leads the child to constantly worry and fear when or what kind of care they may be receiving if at all. Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant: These individuals are a tad more complex in that their behaviour is a mix of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. They often have a fear of intimacy but also fear being alone. This may result in unpredictable and confusing behaviour patterns in the relationships. This is all caused by the push and pull of them wanting closeness but fearing simultaneously. In these households, the caregivers had a sense of trauma and love. Extreme and erratic behavior is experienced and the child craves the love and nurturing relationship but is afraid of what might come after.

Conclusion, Love can be very complex and the understanding of it, human connection is so important.

• In our lives, we will face different types of love, familial, platonic, and romantic, and for each of them, we must handle them with enough empathy, responsibility, and care for them to last.
• Dont forget about self-love, before caring for someone else, care for yourself

In our relationship, we learn about affection and care, the emotional connection, if we are willing to commit to the relationship, and how this should go both ways. There should always be trust and respect.

Through past experiences or other influences, we may fall into certain partners that make the sustainability of relationships harder, for third parties or/and for us. Remember love is supposed to be fun and to be enjoyed, not to be the drama of the week or the thing that keeps you up at night (in all types of relationship including the one with yourself.)