Todd’s Tech Report: October 8, 2015
Oh, you don’t have a book out? Really? It says so right here on Amazon. Only a limited amount available in hard cover. Just doing your best work eh? Jazz hands to your face. JHTYFF!

Teens And EMPs!
What’s going on?
Remember that crazy motherfucker John McAfee? Famous for anti-viruses, murder, drug-fueled jungle runs with Vice reports, and perhaps a presidential run. Well, the bro knows what teens want, and that’s an EMP machine. Sure, just dial it up on the Bezo’s thrift mart and 1-Click your way to Tinker town. Of course, McAfee is seeing the darker side — he always is. He’s no fucking Hobby Lobby hobbyist. He IS darkness…with a 14-inch cod piece and meth for blood.
Why does it matter?
Weaponization. EMPs are short bursts of electromagnetic radiation. Modern electronics don’t jive with such things. Keanu and the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar were privy. John insists that a fifth grader could build a weaponized EMP capable of taking out all the Blackberrys and Wang terminals in a twenty-story building. They’d need $60k in additional parts, BUT that’s why they’re on DraftKings.

What’s going on?
Jet.com: Amazon slayer. It raised $250 million in July in order to thunder-fuck e-commerce. Side note: it had a $50 annual membership fee. That scared customers and retailers. Made it seem like an online Costco without the bulk. The gut punch? Spending $100 million on marketing in 12 months. So, they killed the $50 fee that was going to be the main source of revenue — now they’re waiting for shit to pop like Black Friday.
Why does it matter?
CEO Marc Lore sold his last e-commerce juggernaut to Amazon for $500 million. Based on that, he goes out and raises buckets of bread for an Amazon clone differentiated only by an annual fee and a Smart Cart. Percentages and price matching are at play on the back end but the reality is that this is less a “PIVOT” and more some feature changes in the name of perception. Perception adjustments are not pivots. Reinvention is. Recoding is.

That Waving Interface
What’s going on?
Sure you’re iPad case could wave to you when you have a new email. Maybe your display curls itself up when you’re done porning. Or a TV that unfurls like a flower on your wall. Passive Actuation is not new tech but it’s finally cheap enough to make with a simple printer, mild chemicals and Kapton veneers. Yep, Kaptons.
Why does it matter?
What if your iPhone crawled over to you with a new Snapchat? Weird right? Screens that roll up? Some real space saver tech. Like under-cabinet toaster ovens or tape decks. Watch the video…it’s just hard to explain in words.

