Todd’s Tech Report: October 9, 2014
We took last week off to meditate and search deep space. We’re back! Hide your daughters.

Bond Data Spills On The Internet
What’s going on?
It’s not Exxon Valdez magnitude but it’s pretty close, sans choking otters and tarred seagulls. America’s largest bond insurer sucks at IT. I’d say those so fresh, so clean otters are running the place when 225 pages of account and routing numbers, balances, dividends, and account holder names are being posted online. A little misconfiguration on the server side led the info to be indexed by Google and searchable. Great job everyone. Great job.
Why does it matter?
All this talk about everyone needing to become programmers and entrepreneurs and we can’t keep our legacy systems secure. How about less focus on building the next taco-dating app and more on fortifying the walls people. Just another vote of no confidence to remove the Supreme Chancellor. Whoever that is. Probably an otter.

Apple TV As Home Brain AI Machine
What’s going on?
Apple’s gonna control your dishwasher with its little TV box. The latest Apple TV Software beta officially includes HomeKit support, enabling your Apple TV to act as the unifying force behind your world of iOS-friendly connected devices. Big fucking deal for the IoT fan boys/girls/yetis out there. Word is games are coming too. Maybe even some voice control with Siri. So when you say “Open blinds” your car starts and a box of baby otters is overnighted to your door.
Why does it matter?
Home hub action for Apple is in the cards. Not just an entertainment platform but a little box that controls it all. Many have doubted Apple TV’s focus in the past, but those true to the cause are now being redeemed by the long ball strat attack by Jobs (RIP) and Co. Because if it’s going to be great why not take a long time to get there, then blow everyone away. Or it will suck, and you’ll be stuck with otters to raise and have to move somewhere with abundant kelp.

Everyone Wants Your Face
What’s going on?
Those Lambo driving law dogs of Dubai are slipping on some Google glasses with custom facial recognition software. The tech ties right into their face database for instant ID of anyone caught in the crosshairs. Lovely addition to an already lavish police dept where $400k patrol cars are a norm.
Why does it matter?
34 million people go through Dubai’s airport a year. Lots of in and out from around the globe. Not everyone is your average family of four looking to max and relax at the Burj Dubia Hotel. Criminals, mobsters, drug mules, and otter traffickers from the dark realm pass through. So the tech’s not limited to Lambo patrols beach side but widely applicable to the overall world-wide security state.
Finger Lookin’ Good!
What’s going on?
Adobe MAX was happening this week. The video upstairs is a look ahead at our creative interaction with technology.
Why does it matter?
It’s a magical multi-device world. Pen, paper, ink and paint are not invited. Not even guest listed. Forget VIP. Is it too future? Perhaps. I wish those horses were otters.

Deep-Sixing Deep Space
What’s going on?
Therapeutic torpor. Heard of it? Probably not. But it’s going to get our butts off this CO2 soaked rock. You’ve seen it in movies. Everyone jumps in some chambers, closes their eyes, falls asleep and eventually an alien lays an egg in someone’s chest and you have a movie franchise anchored by a young Sigourney Weaver. NASA is down and jacking up research on creating prolonged deep sleep (aka induced coma) for Mars missions and beyond.
Why does it matter?
With everyone on lockdown mentally and metabolically it means smaller ships and less supplies. Lower risk of muscle degradation and a fresher start for all involved once they land on big red. Wins abound in terms of overall crew health and total mission cost. If all goes as planned this form of therapeutic hypothermia may unlock the key to prolonged deep space missions. Don’t believe it? You otter not.
Hack That Menu!
What’s going on?
If you made it to the end then you get to visit #hackthemenu. All secret menu items for your fave spots in one place.
Why does it matter?
I’m hangry.
When I’m not hungry I help curate content and speakers for SXSW Interactive Festival.

